Gramps,

My husband of 22 years died a few years ago and I have re-married. My new husband’s wife also passed away. We were both sealed to our first spouses in the Temple. At this point, I’m unclear if I will have a choice in the next life who I would like to be sealed to in the eternities. I understand a man can be sealed to more than one woman, but a woman can only be sealed to one man. Do I have a choice or am I automatically sealed to my first husband, depending upon our individual worthiness? In order to be sealed to my present husband, my understanding is that I would have to break my sealing with my first husband. My first husband and I had two sons together and I don’t know where they would stand. I’m confused and unclear how to make such a monumental choice that will affect not only eternity for me, but for my sons as well. Do I rely on faith that the Lord knows what’s best and leave it at that??

Loraine, from Auburn, Washington

Dear Loraine,

In the first place, as long as you both remain worthy, the sealings that have been performed in the temple will remain valid, and the children of the original marriages will remain sealed to their parents. For a person to have a sealing canceled, permission must be obtained from the President of the church. It is true that while we are living in mortality a woman can be sealed to only one man, and a man can be sealed to only one woman at a time. If a man’s spouse dies he may be sealed to a succeeding wife without having the first sealing canceled. However, a wife whose first husband has died cannot be sealed to another man without having the first sealing canceled.

Now, as to whether one should take such a step or not, just a couple of things to consider. The Lord will force no one into a relationship that they do not desire. Secondly, when you meet your first husband again after your sojourn in mortality has been completed you might be surprised at the renewal of your memory of and your feelings toward him. He has not ceased to exist, but continues to progress and grow and undoubtedly increase in his love for you. Perhaps the best time to make a decision in such eternal matters would be after the clouds of mortality have cleared away, and we will “see as [we] are seen, and know as [we] are known.”

Gramps