Dear Gramps,

After prayerful consideration, my husband and I have decided that we are done having children, for many reasons. We have been debating about whether or not to continue just “being careful” which is very difficult, or to go all out and have one of us “fixed,” which is the option I prefer. I’ve inquired of several people about what they have done in this situation, and have received some interesting answers, one being that this is forbidden by the Mormon Church, another being that it is okay, but you have to discuss it with your bishop first as you are destroying any chance of having more children. Like I said, we have prayed about this and we feel comfortable with our decision, so why do I need to bring my bishop into all of this? Is it a sin? Why is my Mormon doctor then so comfortable with my choice? He is the one who suggested I pray about it in the first place. I need to make a decision soon, so I would really appreciate the Church’s stand on this. Thank you.

Camille, from Idaho

Dear Camille,

The reason for bringing your bishop into such delicate and far-reaching matters that strike to the core of the gospel, is to receive the counsel of that person who officially represents for you the Lord, Jesus Christ. He stands in the Lord’s place, and the Lord honors, respects, and accepts the decisions that the bishop makes on behalf of those over whom he presides. But if you take your problems to the bishop I would suggest that you will first have determined to accept his counsel, whatever it is. The Lord has said:

What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same (D&C 1:38).

You asked what the Church’s stand on this subject is. In the first place it is in all probability whatever your bishop tells you that it is. Also, below are a few quotes from different Presidents of the Church and members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on the general subject of limiting the family.

David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, p.487:

Infidelity and sexual immorality are two principal evils that threaten to weaken and to wreck present-day civilization. Unfortunately, the trends of modern life are tending to disintegrate the very foundation of the Christian home. Sexual laxity among young people, birth control, and intemperance are its insidious and vicious enemies. When family life disintegrates, the foundation and bulwark of human society is undermined (Conference Report, October 1947, p. 119).

Joseph Fielding Smith Jr., Doctrines of Salvation, Vol.2, p.87:

BIRTH CONTROL IS WICKEDNESS. The abuse of this holy covenant has been the primary cause for the downfall of nations. When the sacred vows of marriage are broken and the real purpose of marriage abused, as we find it so prevalent in the world today, then destruction is inevitable.

The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p.319:

Rationalization can make convenience into necessity. Some women, because of circumstances beyond their control, must work. We understand that. We understand further that as families are raised, the talents God has given you and blessed you with can often be put to effective use in additional service to mankind. Do not, however, make the mistake of being drawn off into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignments such as giving birth to and rearing the spirit children of our Father in Heaven. Pray carefully over all your decisions.

Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.541:

Today the undermining of the home and family is on the increase, with the devil anxiously working to displace the father as the head of the home and create rebellion among the children. The Book of Mormon describes this condition when it states, “As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.” And then these words follow-and consider these words seriously when you think of those political leaders who are promoting birth control and abortion: “O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12; 2 Nephi 13:12). Let me warn the sisters in all seriousness that you who submit yourselves to an abortion or to an operation that precludes you from safely having additional healthy children are jeopardizing your exaltation and your future membership in the kingdom of God.

Hugh B. Brown, The Abundant Life, p.244:

The problem of birth control and voluntary barrenness is poisoning the very fountains of life and defying God’s injunction to multiply and replenish the earth.

Neal A. Maxwell, For the Power is in Them, p.2:

Strip-mining scars the landscape, causes floods, and leaves an economic emptiness which haunts the coming generations. Similarly, unchastity leaves terrible scars, brings floods of tears and anguish, and leaves a moral emptiness. Significantly, both strip-mining and unchastity rest on a life-style which partakes of an “eat, drink, and by merry” philosophy-gouge and grab now without regard to the consequences! Both strip-mining and unchastity violate the spirit of stewardship over our planet and over person. In such context, birth control pills are not a substitute for discipline. As one author observed, the coming of the pill may simply substitute a “copulation explosion for a population explosion.”

Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, p.86:

I regret, I think it is a crying evil, that there should exist a sentiment or a feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. I think that is a crime wherever it occurs, where husband and wife are in possession of health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity. I believe that where people undertake to curtail or prevent the birth of their children that they are going to reap disappointment by and by. I have no hesitancy in saying that I believe this is one of the greatest crimes of the world today, this evil practice.

Mark E. Petersen, The Way to Peace, p.267:

And consider those of us who live in America — where is the justification for widespread birth control here? Is this country in danger of starvation? Are we over-populated? Or do we have a more selfish reason for using half the world’s contraceptives?

The general handbook of instructions for Church leaders has the following instructions concerning birth control:

Husbands must be considerate of their wives, who have a great responsibility not only for bearing children but also for caring for them through childhood. Married couples should seek inspiration from the Lord in meeting their marital challenges and rearing their children according to the teachings of the gospel (General Handbook, 11-4).

Gramps