Hey Gramps !
My husband and I have a problem. Our son will be 2 years old in a few days. He has been attending the nursery at church for a few months now. He loves it and never cries or throws fits. Our problem is before nursery. We can’t sit in the Chapel because all he wants to do is get up and run around and explore. We sit out on the couches but we can’t really hear the talks and he still wants to run around and play. We haven’t been able to take the Sacrament in over 3 months because we have been going to church late to avoid the struggle with him. We come right before Gospel Doctrine class so that we can take him straight to nursery and then enjoy the rest of church. Do you have any advice? I hate not taking the Sacrament but I am confused on what to do. He is our only child. So we are pretty new at this.
Kami

Dear Kami,
As in the poem by Helen Steiner Rice, “This Too, Shall Pass away,”how long do you think that this phase of child rearing will last? Ask anyone with a four-year old. But, apart from a little patience, what can be done now?
A tactical suggestion– There is no need for the both of you to be on the scene when tending your child in the lobby of the church. How about taking turns entertaining the kid in the foyer during the Sacrament service? Then how about taking turns accompanying him out of the chapel when he makes a disturbance?
Now, a strategical suggestion– Take the reins; be the boss. A little control may well be in order. Some points on strategy: Never raise your voice; never show anger; reward good behavior; treat bad behavior not with punishment, but with silence. Do not expect immediate compliance. When you give an instruction, however, expect it to be obeyed. Therefore, never give instructions that cannot be obeyed, either because of lack of ability or temporary lack of will. In a church setting, an instruction to be silent with a reward attached sometimes works. Don’t promise an M&M, because the article “and” implies more than one. Promise him just an M. The anticipation of more will be an incentive for compliance.
Next, some teaching during quiet time at home– Here you can teach by instruction and by play acting. You might say, while watching an acceptable child’s program on TV, “Let’s play like we’re in church. Now remember, in church we are very quiet. If you can sit quietly for 5 minutes, we’ll give you an “M”. If he doesn’t make it to 5 minutes, you eat the M&M. Then you can ask him when he wants to play again. You might want to consider such activities with any variations that you deem appropriate.
Gramps