Dear Gramps,
A colleague of mine recently found out that her daughter-in-law is pregnant with a boy. She came to me, and some others we work with, thoroughly excited. In her bliss she told us the child’s name: Maximus Lockhart Pendragon (I’m leaving out the child’s last name). As high school teachers we were shocked, and concerned that the child will be ridiculed for his entire life. We voiced this concern to her, and she seemed rather perturbed and admitted she had no idea where the name had come from. So now we’re all wondering: where do people come up with these absurd names? Do they not consider the consequences of the names they come up with on a whim? Or that they are, in many ways, either enabling or disabling their children? How will that child be respected, on say a job application? Or are we simply overreacting and exaggerating the consequences of a name?
Kelly, from Columbia, South Carolina

Dear Kelly,
I believe that the latter concept would fit well. This little boy will be known as Max. That’s a good virile name. Legal documents and such things as school records are usually not for general distribution, so relatively few will run across his full name. But a name like Maximus Lockhart Pendragon could very well be considered as something distinguished and even somewhat mysterious, and may evoke more respect on the part of others than embarrassment on the part of the boy.
My 10th generation direct progenitor named one of his daughters, Mahershalalhashbaz– and that’s not even a girl’s name. It happens to be the name of Isaiah’s first son, and it means to speed to the spoil, or to hasten to the prey. I don’t have any idea how “May” waded through her life with a moniker like that–as it was a little before my time, but I would imagine that she would have survived quite well.
Henry Clay (ouch) aka Gramps