Dear Gramps,

I was raised in the church, married in the temple at 19 to a guy that at the last admitted having joined the church for me, had a son and have now been divorced for two and a half years. I’ve dated on and off and had some engagements that didn’t work out. I met a guy a couple months ago online who is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, except that he’s not a member of the church. He talked once a while back to the missionaries, but hasn’t really had a chance to see the gospel. I don’t know if he’d join the church, but he’s a very good man and I’ve been contemplating getting into a relationship with him anyway. He says he would completely support me in living my beliefs and religion and raising our children in it. He’d even come to church with us, or at least drive us there. And who knows? Maybe he would join. What would your advice be for me? Also, what happens to a temple sealing when the other person goes apostate? Would my children be born under my covenant, or would the sealing have to be canceled?

Lynn, from Draper, Utah

Dear Lynn,

Promises, promises!! The first question you must ask yourself is what you want out of life and eternity. Having been married in the temple, it would seem that you would have an understanding of the unspeakable blessings that await those who keep the covenants that they make in that holy place. If you marry a person who is not worthy or prepared to go to the temple with you, you are taking such a risk of losing the most valuable possession in the universe!

You can easily determine if this man really loves you or if he is interested is some arrangement to suit his own purposes. You could simply state to him that the only possible marriage you would consider would be a temple marriage to a worthy bearer of the holy priesthood. Invite him to examine the church to see if he would be interested in qualifying for your requirements. If he really loves you, he will do that. If he chooses not to, that gives you immediate information that there are other things that he feels are more important to him than your relationship.

You don’t know but what he may have written to his pastor with the suggestion that if you were to marry he is confident that you would eventually accept his religion.. My strong recommendation would be that you confine your dating to young men who are temple worthy. That narrows the field, of course, but it greatly expands the opportunity to achieve the real purpose of marriage. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t ever sacrifice what you want most for what you want now.

Gramps