Dear Gramps,
My guinea pig is afraid of everything: me touching her, my bunny, and little noises. Whenever I let her wander, she just hides in a corner, and she never seems happy. How can I fix this? How can I properly take care of her?
Celeste

Dear Celeste,
The best way to make your guinea pig (and yourself) happy is to lock her in her cage and give her something nice to eat. Guinea pigs, or cavies, are not domesticated animals, they are rodents, and they have limited learning ability; so you cannot treat them like a domesticated pet. If you let them out of their cages you will find that they will be afraid of everything, such as touching them, bunnies and little noises. However, if you are serious about your cavy, get her a large cage, designed for guinea pigs, that has exercise ramps and wheels, and a place for droppings. You wouldn’t want your pet to be living in a kitty litter box, would you? One thing about guinea pigs is that they like to have other guinea pigs around, and enough space to move around a bit. So again, if you are serious about your cavy, it’s going to cost you a bit. But if you want her to have a happy life you need to provide for her wants and needs. Go to a good size, reputable pet store (that caters to guinea pig aficionados) and get her the things that she would need to make her life happy.
Gramps