Dear Gramps,
How can I help my Grandson age 9, work through a Gender identity problem? He mentions often that he wishes he was a girl. He likes to play the part of a girl when they play pretend games. If we believe being homosexual is a choice, not a matter of birth or “gender mixups”. How can I help him now, while he’s young?

Karen, from: Seeley Lake, Montana

Your grandson’s attitudes are strongly influenced by both home environment and peer associations. Positive reinforcement at home for the male gender role and activities should be helpful.

It would also be helpful if he were to have available the equipment and objects associated with male gender activities, such a bicycle, baseball, fishing pole, etc. It would also be important, as opportunity permits, to have him enrolled in male gender organizations, such as the boy scouts. If he and his family are members of the Mormon Church, active preparation to receive the Aaronic Priesthood would be valuable, as would preparation for and the building of expectation to serve as a Mormon missionary for two years.

Even with all the above, gender identity problems are generally so deeply rooted that competent professional help is often highly recommended. However, great care should be exercised in choosing the professionals or the professional organizations that would be treating your grandson. I would certainly interview the professional staff members before making a decision to use any particular ones to determine if their philosophy on the gender issue matches your own.

Again, members of the Mormon Church would do well to consult with their bishop to determine what resources are available within the Church to deal with such matters.

Gramps