I am paying my monthly payments on child support as I should. But when I wasn’t working it got piled up. So when I went to court, we made an agreement, to pay the back pay in small payments with the monthly payments on top of that. So basically, I am paying what is required by law.

On the Temple Recommend interview question states as follows:

Do you have financial or other obligations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?

I answered yes because in my mind I am current in meeting those obligations with my ex through court by making an agreement and paying on what we agreed on. By law.

Am I doing wrong here? I would hate to go to the temple and have this over my shoulder and feeling guilty for not knowing for sure if I am doing wrong here.

Marco

_____________________

Marco,

First, I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Divorce, child support and everything else along with it is never an enjoyable situation.

When reading your question, it is important to define the word ‘current’.

Let’s talk about being not current, or in non-compliance of the court order. If you are not current with a court order, you are in violation of the law of the land as it applies to you and your family situation.

The 12th Article of Faith states “We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.” This includes court orders for spousal and child support.

If you are not current with such court orders, you are in violation of the spirit and letter of the law for the financial support and well-being of your family. If this situation became prolonged without any communication with the court system governing the order, you could face arrest.

I don’t think I’m telling you anything you don’t already know.

Should a person, who is not doing everything within their power to be current on these obligations, hold a current temple recommend?

Should a person, who is in danger of possible arrest, hold a current temple recommend?

So, what is ‘current’? To me, the word ‘current’ means that your current payment structure is in good standing with the court system. If your child support was reported to a credit bureau, would it say “current” by this obligation? If so, then you are current, even if you have an outstanding balance. It means that you are providing for the financial well-being of your children.

Let’s also think about the temple recommend interview. The interview is a minimum standard for entrance into the Lord’s House. We want to do better, but the interview gauges a minimum standard. Don’t let your desire to be perfect in some things affect your ability to enjoy the spirit of the temple. Your children need you to be a righteous priesthood holder, a temple recommend holder and a regular attender of temple ceremonies.

I hope this has helped.

Gramps

When we go to celestial kingdom, will we be able to see Heavenly Mother, as the plan of salvation was based on family? Any insight on Heavenly Mother?

Robert

________________

Robert,

When we enter the Celestial kingdom I am reminded of the words of a favorite hymn, “O My Father,” as we sing “Father, Mother, may I meet you…with your mutual approbation let me come and dwell with you.” As I think upon your question, a thought enters into my heart, “what perfect mother would not want to see and meet her children upon their return”?

I would propose that if we are able to see our Heavenly Father, then we will be able to see and visit with our Heavenly Mother. I, personally, think it would be odd to enter the Celestial kingdom and never see our Heavenly Mother. We know, dear brother, we have a Heavenly Mother, and I can not think of any good reason as to why she wouldn’t want to see us again, or why she would be kept from seeing us.

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual worth in our pre-mortal, mortal, and our eternal identity and purpose. With how much my wife loves seeing the return of our children, I assume Heavenly Mother is the same way.

Gramps

Do angels have wings?

Penny

__________________

Penny,

In Doctrine and Covenants 129:1-3 we read

1 There are two kinds of beings in heaven, namely:Angels, who are resurrected personages, having bodies of flesh and bones—

2 For instance, Jesus said: Handle me and see, for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.

3 Secondly: the spirits of just men made perfect, they who are not resurrected, but inherit the same glory.

From this we learn that angels are people, and therefore they do not have wings.

Which raises the question why they are commonly depicted as having them? This has to do with cultural differences. In our western culture we tend to be very literal. We say what we mean and we mean what we say. In other cultures including the Jewish one at the time of writing the accounts found in the bible they were much more poetical, much more symbolic.

When we consider the symbolic meaning of wings, we start thinking of power of movement, and messengers. Both of which fit with what angels are used for and what they can do. Thus when we read about Winged Angels we need to understand the symbolic nature of it. If you take it with a more literal mindset you generate the commonly held belief that they have wings. Because that is what the words literally say, but not how they are intended to be understood.

Gramps

So my girlfriend and I have been planning to get married in a few short months and were previously not living the law of chastity and just a couple weeks ago I confessed to my bishop and am now going thru the repentance process but today I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. I have a few questions. Do I need to confess this to my bishop? And do I need to tell my family or can we just get married as planned and tell them she’s now pregnant? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Andrew

________________

Andrew,

Because you’re already involved with your bishop regarding this situation, he absolutely needs to know about the pregnancy. It will aid him in continuing the repentance process with you. As to what, and when you tell your family, in my heart I think the sooner they know the truth the better. It will give them the time needed to accept the reality of what has happened and then hopefully brace for the support they want to give you.

I don’t see the good that can come from withholding the truth unless the wedding is very soon. Most everyone knows the timeline for pregnancy, and it’s simple math. The truth will come out sooner or later. Better that it happens now, and may God be with you both as you work through this challenge together.

Gramps

I was excommunicated 7 years ago after I voluntarily confessed to my husband and bishop to having had multiple affairs.I repented and was rebaptized a year later. Things went well for a while, but 2 years after I had another affair, which I ended within a year. I have been “clean” for 3 years now,but I find myself attracted to men other than my husband frequently. I have controlled those feelings, but they continue pestering me.I don’t want to go through the embarrassment of confessing my sins again. This will break my husband’s heart. Plus,it’s so humiliating. I sense I’ll be excommunicated again. Yet I don’t feel I’m a worthy member of the church. I don’t take the sacrament and don’t pay tithing. No one knows about this last affair but the Lord, my mother, sister, and me. I am 53 years old and old enough to know better. I wish I knew what it is that makes me so weak in this area of morality. How can I combat this?Will I be excommunicated again if I confess this to my bishop?

Becky

________________

Becky,

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ we believe in a loving Father in heaven, and in his loving son Jesus Christ. Our Father in Heaven, through his son, have provided us with prophets to guide and direct the affairs of his kingdom. One aspect of this guidance is given in the Church Handbook of Instructions.

In light of your previous excommunication, and an unfortunate repeated offense, the chances are more likely that you will be excommunicated again. However, do not fret, excommunication, and other disciplinary actions are opportunities for people to repent and to fully come unto Christ.

One of the thoughts bishops are asked to review during a disciplinary counsel is whether or not the person has already been through a disciplinary council. In light of this Becky, please do not fear, speak with your bishop and begin the repentance process again. This process is for your best interest, eternally.

Your husband, although it may break his heart, has a right to know about your infidelity. Part of our repentance process is that we are open and willing to accept the consequences of our actions, no matter how hard or difficult the task may appear.

Becky, we all experience physical attraction, however the problem is not that we are attracted to other people. The problem is when a person is willing to act upon their attraction — this is the core/root of the problem. People do not commit adultery on a whim, people who have committed adultery have long thought about it before they committed the sin.

David’s fault was not when he looked upon Bathsheba, his fault was when he continued to look and then invited her to his palace. David recognized Bathsheba was a beautiful woman — no sin in recognizing the outward appearance of another person (he was attracted), however what he did with his attraction is what lead him to sin.

Gramps

All exmormons usually will describe a peace, a freedom, feeling less under “mind control of Mormonism” when leaving the church ect. I can honestly say that I have felt these feelings too (when reading the stories). Are we being fooled by Satan or what? The only explanations I can think of are: the full loss of The holy Ghost, thus a persons psychology/thinking changes (almost instantly). He becomes separated from God. Some even claim a closer relationship, while most say athiesm, agnosticism -not believing at all is the way to go. I have heard the saying “like a feather in the wind…tossed to and fro with every doctrine and (well I can’t think of the rest, but it’s scripture and there’s a full quote from Brigham Young about people who leave the LDS Church). What are your thoughts on this so called exodus from the faith and my thinking above?. Lehi’s dream is directly linking to what is happening now.

Calls

_________________

Calls,

When I ponder the choice of individuals who have left the Church the obvious answer — they have experienced a loss of the Spirit of our Lord. Lehi’s dream is definitely linked to this type of experience even now, Laman & Lemuel are symbolic of any church member leaving and finding the great and spacious building.

When I further ponder Lehi’s dream, the people in the building were actually having a grand ole time. They were drinking, wearing costly apparel, we could even say they were thoroughly enjoying themselves.

These individuals begin to take pleasure in sin. How much easier it is to drink, eat, and be merry than to cling to the iron rod? However, as we are informed in scripture, their pleasure, their enjoyment will be but for a moment and then the building comes crashing down.

Think upon the prodigal son, when he received his father’s inheritance and then went out and partied. I am assuming this prodigal son had tons of fun. He was no longer under house rules which kept him from enjoying life. However, once the fun wore off, in other words, when the person actually was put into a scenario of true self reflection — who did he desire to return to — even if it would be to become a servant?

When I consider the mental state of peace and joy the gospel refers to and the freedom and peace they experience, the two are not synonymous. There is a difference between the pleasure the world provides and the joy the gospel provides.

Gramps

In D&C 93 we learn of Christ receiving grace for grace, not having a fullness at first. Do we know when he gained that fullness? Or in other words, when he realized he was the Christ, Jehovah, the Lord Omnipotent?

Justin

_____________

Justin,

We are not provided with any information pertaining to the moment in time the Lord realized he ultimate purpose as the Son of Man; however, in scripture we are provided evidence that the Lord may have known very early on in his life.

In Luke 2:49, we read, “And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?”

When the Lord spoke these words even his mother and Joseph did not understand the words he spake. This verse at least provides us with insight that our Savior knew who his Father was, and that he should be about his Father’s business.

Beyond this, I believe that any other thoughts would lend toward speculation…at best.

Gramps

Can someone help me with this?   I have been very anxious over this. When we go through the temple and get our name, what happens when we can’t remember that name? I have gone to the temple many times during the years and have had to ask what my name is and now I am so embarrassed I don’t ask anymore. I am elderly and since I go the temple so many times I hear so many names I simply can’t seem to keep my own separate from all the others muddling in my memory bank. This has me very distressed since I am a widow and want to be with my husband when I pass through the veil.

Dianne

_______________

Diane,

When a person forgets their name it is nothing to be ashamed of, nor anything we should feel embarrassed over. We are human, and we do at times forget.

When you attend the temple, speak with a patron. They will be able to ask you a couple of questions, sometimes they may even try to help you recall the name in the first place, and if you are unable to recall your name, they will ask you when you took out your endowment (year and approximately the month). From this information they will be able to tell you your name.

Gramps

Hey Gramps,

I am an active member of the LDS church and I’m looking for answers/comfort regarding some of the atrocities I’ve learned about effecting large groups of children. Specifically, a recent TED talk by Sunitha Krishnan exposed the systemic selling of children into sexual slavery. This is not a one-off sort of arrangement, it’s masses of children as young as 4 being sold into unimaginable situations. I am paralyzed by this information. I’ve sought out LDS discussion of the Holocaust, but there is a wide gap of information about children in hideous circumstances. It is hard for me to believe in a God who does not or cannot or will not protect the scores of innocents. How do I maintain my faith in a loving God?

LC

_____________

LC,

In scripture, one of the most prominent voices emphasizing God’s love for his children is during the dialogue with Enoch in Moses chapters 6 and 7.

Moses 6:43, “why counsel ye yourselves, and deny the God of heaven?” This question is not rhetorical, but a question even you ask yourself right now. Why do we personally make decisions to “deny” or loose our faith in God?

Moses 7:28, “And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept…” The Lord even weeps as a result of the wickedness due to the choices of his children. Would a God, who is not loving, weep at the sins of his children? And then Enoch asks a poignant question for all of us to ponder, “How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou art holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?”

The Lord answers Enoch’s question, “Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands…. “and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood;”

This hate blossoms despite the commandment to love our God, and to love our neighbor. This hate for their own blood has lead many of God’s children to perform and force despicable actions against children, women, and men.

In the Book of Mormon, at the end of the history of the Nephites we read about hatred again, despite the commandment to “love one another.” The children of men, instead of seeking God began again to be lover’s of pleasure and lover’s of themselves. Even the Nephites, who were taught righteousness, entered into despicable acts against the daughters of the Lamanites who were held captive.

In light of this experience, Mormon shared these words with his son which I have found to be very comforting regarding exercising our faith in God, Moroni 9:25-26.

“My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.

“And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the aright hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever. Amen.”

This counsel was a personal letter to his son Moroni, but Moroni despite the feeling that he wouldn’t write anymore wrote down these words from his loving father, which have been given to us from our loving Father in heaven. Please heed Mormon’s counsel.

Gramps

Was “Another Testament of Christ” added to the front cover of the Book Of Mormon? I am thinking it was added when we got all the chapter headings and the footnotes. Could you tell me the year these things were added?

Jordan

______________

Jordan,

Another reader had an old edition of the Book of Mormon. He wanted help indentifying how old it was, what edition it was, etc. I gave the best research I had available at the time, and as a courtesy I’d like to give you much of that answer here, then discuss your question afterward.

What may interest you is that there are twenty distinct editions of the Book of Mormon beginning with the first printing in 1830, and culminating with the current edition, first set and printed in 1981. Rather than go into full detail, I’ll list each of the editions, then mention the ones that may be pertinent to your copy. So, here are the editions, by year;

1830

1837

1840 – The last to be edited by Joseph Smith

1841 – first British edition

1849 – second British edition

1852 – third British edition

1858W – a private edition published by James O. Wright, used by the RLDS Church

1874R – First official RLDS edition

1879 – first major edition by the church since 1840, published in England

1888 – large-print edition

1892R – Second RLDS edition

1902 – missionary edition

1905 – second missionary edition with some changes in text

1906 – second large-print edition

1907 – vest-pocket edition published by the Deseret Sunday School Union

1908R – third RLDS edition

1911 – third large-print edition

1920 – first major edition published by the church since 1879, published in Salt Lake City

1953R – Fourth RLDS edition

1981 – Longest used major edition by the church.

2013 – Most recent edition by the church with updates to the footnotes, chapter headings and study aids. The scriptural text from the 1981 edition was fully retained for this update.

Keep in mind that each edition may have been, and in later years, most certainly was, published for years before the next edition was set. So, by way of example, you could have an 1852 edition that was published in 1870 since the next major LDS edition wasn’t prepared until 1879.

The first set of numbers added to the text were by paragraph, and this was done in the 1852 edition. The text used for this edition came from stereotyped plates from the 1849 edition as well as a set of stereotyped plates from the 1840 edition.

Orson Pratt introduced the verse numbering system in the 1879 edition. The verse assignments haven’t changed since then, by the way. The text was taken from the corrected 1852 edition. Interestingly enough, the text from this edition was used from 1888 through 1907.

It wasn’t until the 1920 edition that the double-column arrangement was established along with chapter headings. Minor changes were made from earlier texts, while the 1911 text formed the bulk of the work.

The 1920 edition persisted unitl the 1981 edition which restored some of the original readings from the Original Manuscript as well as the Printers Manuscript, insofar as they were then extant.

As for when the subtitle ‘Another Testament of Jesus Christ’ was added, it happened in 1982. In General Conference 1986 then President Ezra Taft Benson explained that it was added to aid in focusing the efforts of the church to more fully utilize the Book of Mormon in general, and specifically to utilize it in testifying of Christ.

Thank you for a great question and a re-visit to one of my more fondly remembered research sessions.

Gramps

I have recently had a hard time with having a miscarriage. Will new children be brought into the world even after the second coming? I have heard that there will be no temptation during the millennium. If this is true would there still be children?

Allyson

___________

Allyson,

I am truly sorry to hear about your miscarriage, they are never easy for any woman with a desire to bear children. When we open our scriptures and read Doctrine and Covenants 45:58 it states, “And the earth shall be given unto them for an inheritance; and they shall multiply and wax strong, and their children shall grow up without sin unto salvation.”

From the Church’s Gospel Principles chapter 45  we also are able to read, “During the Millennium, mortals will still live on earth, and they will continue to have children as we do now (see D&C 45:58). Joseph Smith said that immortal beings will frequently visit the earth. These resurrected beings will help with the government and other work. (See Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 268.)

People will still have their agency, and for a time many will be free to continue with their religions and ideas. Eventually everyone will confess that Jesus Christ is the Savior.”

Thus, the Church doctrine seems pretty clear Allyson that we will be able to multiply and replenish the earth during the Millennium.

Gramps

Gramps,

Is it proper to talk a little politics at Family Home Evening just to bring it up? It wouldn’t be the entire lesson.

Norma

________________

Norma,

It is always a good idea to bring up any topic for discussion during a family home evening.

Family home evening is presided by the patriarch of the home. It is up to that person to determine what is acceptable to discuss during family home evening.

Family home evening does not have to always be gospel related. It is an opportunity for the family to spend time together and to teach the values that you want to have taught to your children. Yes, this includes political, social, economic and many other values that you want to have passed on.

The Doctrine & Covenants expounds even further on this:

D&C 88:77-80

77 And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.

78 Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

79 Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

80 That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you.

There is no greater place to do this than in one’s home, and no greater time to do this than during Family Home Evening.

Just a side note: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we study The Book of Mormon in our Gospel Doctrine classes every presidential election year. I think by reviewing the principles in The Book of Mormon, we can learn a great deal about government, judges, the morality of people and the eternal laws of prosperity.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

We are told that Christ’s redeeming atonement was infinite, and specifically, that He descended “below all things”. If this is true, then why isn’t murder covered by His atonement? How can it be called an infinite and universal atonement when murder is not included? Your thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Robert

________________

Robert,

Lets use the example of the Lamanite conversion to address this point. The Book of Mormon clearly records that the Lamanite converts were forgiven of ‘Their many murders.’ So clearly the atonement did and can include murder. What it can’t do is rob the justice of God.

We also see this in the Book of Mormon account. These Lamanites converts buried their weapons of war and allowed themselves to be killed, because they knew that if after having receive such a forgiveness and the light and understanding that they gained. That if they were then to then return to their old ways and deny the light and knowledge they have gained they would have rejected the atonement that Christ offers to all.

Effectively choosing to reject the atonement is the only thing the atonement can’t cover. To reject it we must first really and truly understand it and many of us only have the barest of glimmer. But in the day that we understand enough, if we then choose to reject it then God will respect our choice in the matter.

Gramps

Gramps, I love you always, however in the dictionary both words “Reformation” and “Restoration” almost explains the same meanings? Could you please elaborate?  How do I explain this to my families and friends?

LDS-Vegas

______________

LDS-Vegas,

The minute nuance between reformation and restoration may be confusing; although, the nuance between these two words are very important to note and understand. The denotation of reformation equals “to put or change into an improved form or condition.” The denotation for restoration details “a bringing back to a former position or condition.” Reformation and restoration by definition experience “change” however, how the institution/organization is “changed” is the subtle difference.

Our theology, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, proselytes a restoration, in other words we believe the Church wasn’t just changed or improved upon, but the Church was actually brought back to a former condition (which was lost — apostasy), which symbolized the whole Church, not just parts of the Church changed.

As a gentlemen the best way to explain the minute nuances between reformation and restoration would be through sport cars. When you look at a picture of a 1969 Ford Mustang, it has experienced many reformations since 1964, however has the Ford Mustang experienced a restoration?

The body of the Mustang has changed, been improved upon, however with each change the Ford Mustang is still the Ford Mustang, with a different form, different interior, and other minute changes to improve its sale value. However, if I wanted to actually restore a 1969 Ford Mustang what would I need to do?

First – I would actually need to purchase the body of a 1969 Ford Mustang. If I use the body of any other year, I, by definition, am not restoring the 1969 Ford Mustang. Also, if I wanted original material I would need to go to the source of those who produced the body, interior, etc… in order to replicate it perfectly.

Second – A person would contact a source which is able to produce an exact replica, or an original piece of the car.

Third – Once the original products either directly from the manufacturer or from a merchant who has the original piece have been purchased, the restoration of the model can actually be accomplished.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints proclaims to all the world that the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored. The Church exists in its unimpaired condition as it existed when the Lord instructed and called twelve apostles. We exclaim that the Lord’s Priesthood, the Lord’s Church built upon the foundation of apostles and prophets, with Christ himself being the chief cornerstone is again upon the earth. Joseph Smith’s first vision gives evidence to the need of a restoration when the Lord spoke and Joseph Smith wrote, “I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong,” in relation to asking our Lord which church he should join. In this short period of time, the Church has also experienced some reformations. We believe, remember, all that God has revealed and we believe he will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God which will reform the Church of Jesus Christ.

Gramps

I understand that those who died before reaching the age of accountability will automatically be exalted. They were very righteous and too pure. Since about 80% of HF children are in that category does that mean the rest of us were the dregs of those who came to earth.  Are we the really terrible children?

Mona

________________

Mona,

Through the Lord’s prophets, in light of the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, we have been informed, Joseph Smith’s Vision of the Celestial Kingdom contains this statement: “And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven.” (D&C 137:10)”

Joseph Smith also declared (I assume this is the quote you have read or heard of), “In my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. . . . The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again. . . . All children are redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and the moment that children leave this world, they are taken to the bosom of Abraham. The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable wicked world.”

(Joseph Smith, Teachings, p. 196-197)

In context, I understand why a person may feel less pure and less innocent if they continue to live after the age of accountability, fortunately however, this is not the case. In answer to your question, I would draw your mind to the words of our Lord in Abraham 3:22-24 as he declared the preparation of many “noble and great ones” — upon which Abraham was one of them. Abraham was pure enough and faithful enough that he received a promised covenant by which all of his children would be blessed.

I would also draw your mind to this verse found in Doctrine and Covenants 93:38 expressing this doctrine, “Every spirit of man was innocent in the beginning; and God having redeemed man from the fall, men became again, in their infant state, innocent before God.”

We believe Mona, the Lord our Redeemer has overcome sin and death. As a result, should we live and honor our covenants and repent of our sins, we are just as innocent, just as pure, as the children who died before the age of accountability. We will, like them, be brought back into the presence of our God in glory and exaltation.

Gramps

I just read your response to the mother about short skirts and modesty. Modesty is a matter of attitude. A girl can be dressed from neck to floor in a loose fitting gunny sack and still be immodest. The church is now airbrushing sleeves onto pictures of little girls in sleeveless dresses. Ridiculous! I realize an endowed member must wear sleeves, but a little girl? Or a teenager? What’s immodest about a bare shoulder, for heaven’s sake? Also, girls are told to be modest so they don’t turn the boys on. So why should girls be responsible for a boy’s behavior. Seems to me the boys should be taught to bridle those feelings.

Sharee

_____________

Sharee,

Thank you for taking the time to read my responses and to ask some additional questions while sharing your thoughts. I believe you mention a valid point, “Modesty is a matter of attitude.” Modesty, however also incorporates our manner of dress, speech, thoughts, and our personal conduct.

If we assume modest is solely a matter of attitude then I believe we are missing three other aspects of modesty: dress, speech, and our conduct. Let me explain, you mention a fully clothed woman in a gunny sack as still immodest, however, if a women or man has the correct attitude toward modesty but attends church fully nude — is s/he modest because they have the right attitude? You may say, “I didn’t say that,” and I would respond, “No, you didn’t,” however modesty solely presented as “an attitude” provides a segue way for other diluted interpretations of modesty.

Modesty begins while we are young and our age doesn’t define what is modest or immodest. Yes, young women, young girls, young men, young boys who are inappropriately dressed are still immodest. Truth doesn’t have any age limit. In fact, it is more important that as mothers and fathers that we teach this principle of modesty while our children are young.

I understand you may think the airbrushing attempts by the Church to be ridiculous; however, I, myself, would be more concerned with teaching my children and grandchildren what modesty is than being concerned with the Church’s airbrushing attempts. Why would the Church be airbrushing sleeves on pictures? I believe we find the answer and their willingness to follow through with their beliefs here, “Immodest clothing includes short shorts, tight pants, and other revealing attire. Young women should refrain from wearing off-the-shoulder, low-cut, or revealing clothes” (For the Strength of Youth: Dress and Appearance). Instead of governing what people wear when they take pictures they simply airbrush “modesty” into the pictures. I am truly unsure the problem here.

In our faith, both young men and young women are taught to bridle their passions, and they are taught virtue, chastity, and all that entails modesty; unfortunately, despite the Church’s and families best efforts some young men and young women do not heed the counsel. I, personally, am grateful for the efforts from our Church to teach modesty, and this is what I have taught my daughters and sons, and continue to teach grandsons and granddaughters. I want my daughters to know who that they are all children of our Father in heaven. Modesty entails our attitude and our manner of dress and conduct. When our dress, attitude, and conduct are not congruent then we are sending mixed messages. When my daughters’ dress and conduct are congruent then the correct message is being sent also. Modesty is also an outward expression of our love for God and our gratitude for the blessing of a body.

Our leaders have enlightened us with a principle of modesty, and allow us to govern ourselves. We, also believe, that the Lord has called these chosen servants to direct and guide us. These are the words they share from our loving Heavenly Father. I have come to knowledge myself that their words are correct, and modesty is more than our attitude alone.

Gramps

Our bishop has asked everyone in the ward to print and turn in a 5-generation pedigree chart by the end of the year. I’m sure trying to encourage genealogy work. I just received a 30 minute lecture from my son about identity theft and how giving out this information – not knowing what will happen to the sheet, might not be a wise thing to do. Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Rell

_____________

Rell,

In most cases of identity theft, individuals require full name, mother’s maiden name, telephone number, social security number, and a living address.

As long as you protect your social security number there shouldn’t be any concern with handing over a genealogy pedigree chart to your church leaders.

However, it doesn’t hurt either to know what your church leaders will be doing with the pedigree charts they are receiving.

Gramps

The bishop in our ward told our children that he was inspired to tell them that the second coming would happen in their lifetime. Although sometimes I think he is right I do not believe he has the authority to tell something that even the angels do not know. My child thinks I am wrong and I am leading him astray and the bishop has every right to get inspiration for the ward.. which is true to some extent. Please help me as a mother explain how authority for the bishop works. I did explain that if the bishop said he has a revelation to have all the ward pack up and leave that it would be wrong and that it needs to comes through the proper lines of authority and this is how apostasy happens. I can’t seem to explain in a way that will help. Please please help!!

A very concerned mother

_____________

Dear Concerned Mother,

I rejoice in the heart of a mother who desires her children to be properly nurtured according to true doctrine. In scripture, 3 Nephi 22:13 ( Isaiah 54:13) it is proclaimed, “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.”

In your current circumstance, what knowledge from The Lord will greatly enhance the peace of your children, and peace within yourself? In a ward the Bishop is the presiding high priest who has been ordained, received keys, and authorized to receive revelation concerning those within his stewardship.

In light of our stewardships, would it be lawful, right, for a mother or father to receive a similar revelation regarding whether or not the second coming would be in their lifetime, even though the angels 2000 years ago didn’t know? The answer is, “yes.” In light of the Bishop’s stewardship, would it be right that he received revelation regarding the same prophecy? The answer is also, “yes.” Is a primary president authorized to receive similar inspiration, revelation? The answer concurs with the previous questions, “yes,” the primary president would be authorized, in connection with her steward (primary children), to receive this type of inspiration from The Lord.

Thus, the real question we (father, mother, and children) should be pondering is whether or not the inspiration delivered by your bishop was a sure and true prophecy? Thus, The true key is to find out if “he is right” about his inspiration. If he is, the argument with the child is over. If he is not, then there is no more “sometimes” and you can move forward with teaching that sometimes even spiritual leaders just speak as men – and there’s no need to bring authority or speculative timelines into the discussion. Pass the same key down and let the child exercise the gift of discernment also.

Gramps

Dear Gramps, (for a friend) Many years ago, I was married in the temple and we had two little boys born in the covenant. After 7 years of marriage, my husband died. I was very hurt and mad at God and took off my garments. I am trying to come back now and I know that God loves me and has blessed me many times in all these years since. I say my prayers every night,I pay my tithing and attend church as often as I am physically able. I want to get my life in order, but my mother told me many years ago that my husband would be given to someone else. One of our sons has also passed away. I would very much like to be with my husband and my son when I die, but my visiting teacher told me the other day that I will never see my husband or son again. and I am very scared. Doesn’t Christ sacrifice help me to be forgiven? Am I really damned because I took my garments off and threw them at my mother all those years ago? Will I never see my husband and my son again?

Scared

_____________

Dear Scared,

I am deeply sorry for the trial of your life in the loss of your husband and one of your sons. I am deeply sorry that the pain was so severe that you felt angry with God leading you to remove your garments. I am sure their are others who have felt similar after losing their eternal companion after a few short years of marriage.

Indeed, God loves you, he loves you so much that he sent His only begotten son into the world to save the world. To save individuals like you and me, and our beloved ones.

Only God knows if you won’t be with your husband and son in the eternities; however, you should come back to Church and confess and forsake the sins of your past. We are informed that the blessings we have received in the temple will be restored unto us once again.

A person is only damned if they do not repent. If a person repents, and comes unto God with full purpose of heart, then we are told that the Lord remembers our sins no more; we are once again clean, innocent before our Heavenly Father (Isaiah 1:18). As such, our Savior’s sacrifice definitely helps you to be forgiven and to be perfected through him.

May the Lord bless you to continue to live righteously from now on, such that, you will see your son and husband again.

Gramps

Gramps, I hope you can help me. I am a member of the church with a strong testimony and have recently read some stuff about Joseph Smith and have felt very bad since reading it. I read that when he first started practicing polygamy he hid it from Emma. I just feel bad inside. What I read disturbed me and I can’t seem to shake the way that I feel. I know the church is true and although what I read bothers me, I won’t let it affect my testimony, but it’s haunting me and I just feel bad. I keep thinking about how hurtful this would have been to Emma and I can’t understand why it would have to be done that way. Please help me!!

Shea

______________

Shea,

One thing to remember in all of God’s dealings with men is that the men he chose, and chooses to this day are, were, and ever will be imperfect men. Moses had a speech impediment, some say he stuttered. Noah got drunk after the flood. Jonah physically fled from his prophetic call at first.

What I’m trying to illustrate is that just like these well known, and righteous, holy men of the Old Testament, Joseph Smith was also an imperfect man. For perspective, you have to put yourself in his shoes and in his time.

Joseph loved Emma without question, hesitation, or reservation. Imagine, in that setting, the Lord coming to Joseph and informing him not only about the practice of polygamy, but that he himself was commanded to accept additional wives.

Joseph knew his wife Emma and he knew her well. He knew she wouldn’t like the idea of polygamy, and indeed she didn’t when he finally told her about it. It took him even longer to inform the rest of the Church about it. In fact, it took a direct and clear warning from the Lord before Joseph finally revealed the revelations that he had received.

At once is clear the discomfort Joseph felt with this doctrine. He knew it would be trouble for the saints to accept. It was trouble for his own household. Indeed, the trouble over this doctrine and practice not only began trouble for the saints then, but to some degree or another, it is still shadowing us to this very day. Nevermind it hasn’t been acceptable in this church for over 100 years, people still tend to associate polygamy with the LDS Church.

Now, as to what is bothering you specifically, remember Joseph was just a mortal man with a divine calling. Only Christ was ever perfectly innocent of sin. Joseph, and all of the other people associated with the early years of the church made mistakes and sinned to some degree or another just like everyone in the church does to this day, including the prophet and apostles. Our callings do not make us above sin, whatever they are.

I assure you Joseph was never guilty of any deep or serious sin such as those who attack the church are likely to claim. For instance, in relation to the issue of polygamy, yes Joseph was sealed to several women during his life. However he never attempted to have children with any but his beloved Emma. There is no reliable record that states he was ever even intimate with any other woman besides Emma.

There is much more to be learned about the practice of polygamy and the doctrines behind it, much of which we may never learn in this life. At the same time, whenever God commands and man obeys, that man will always be right.

God commanded Joseph Smith, and being human, Joseph struggled with what he was commanded to do. He hesitated, worried, and wondered perhaps. However when the Lord reminded him of his calling and duyy, Joseph obeyed and the restoration of all things continued to unfold.

I can understand the unease you feel about this, but it’s important to remember that all of us here are operating under the same need for faith, and that definitely includes the prophets God calls to lead us. It’s no wonder that we are encouraged to sustain our leaders in their callings, for their tasks surely require great tests of faith such as this example of what Joseph and Emma faced.

Gramps