Gramps,

I have a quick question. Is becoming an art model against the church? The ones that art students draw to learn form and shading. Normally, I would think that it’d be ok, but you have to do it nude most of the time. Thank you for hearing me out!

Emilie

Answer

Emilie,

The portrayal of the human body in art is not a novel concept. Ancient civilizations, including the Greeks and Romans, revered the nude form, viewing it as a representation of ideal beauty and divine perfection. Renaissance artists like Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo further elevated nude art, emphasizing anatomical accuracy and expressive depth. These historical precedents highlight the enduring relationship between art and the human body, suggesting that nude modeling has long been considered an integral part of artistic endeavor.

In modern times, nude modeling continues to play a pivotal role in various art forms. Contemporary artists utilize the human form to challenge societal norms, explore identity, and convey complex emotions. This ongoing tradition underscores the relevance of nude modeling in fostering artistic innovation and cultural dialogue.

The decision to engage in nude modeling extends beyond artistic ambition; it encompasses ethical and moral dimensions. Different communities and belief systems offer varied perspectives on the appropriateness of revealing the human form in art.

For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, modesty is a fundamental principle. The Church emphasizes the importance of maintaining dignity and respecting one’s body as a sacred creation. While the Church acknowledges the significance of art, it encourages individuals to navigate the balance between artistic expression and personal standards of modesty. This perspective raises important questions about the alignment of personal values with the demands of artistic pursuits that may involve nudity.

Moreover, societal views on nudity in art are diverse and evolving. What was once considered controversial may now be widely accepted, reflecting changes in cultural norms and values. However, the ethical debate persists, particularly concerning issues of consent, exploitation, and the portrayal of marginalized groups. These considerations necessitate a thoughtful approach to nude modeling, ensuring that it is conducted with respect, consent, and artistic integrity.

For individuals contemplating nude modeling, the decision can be fraught with personal challenges. Concerns about body image, societal judgment, and the potential impact on one’s reputation are common. The vulnerability inherent in nude modeling requires a high degree of self-confidence and resilience.

Additionally, young individuals might find it particularly challenging to navigate the expectations of appropriate attire and behavior, as highlighted by some critics. The comparison to refraining from activities deemed acceptable in other contexts, such as participating in college sports on Sundays, shows the complexity of maintaining personal standards amidst external pressures.

Despite these challenges, many art models find the experience empowering and fulfilling. The ability to contribute to artistic creation, celebrate the human form, and engage in meaningful self-expression can be profoundly rewarding. Supportive environments and clear communication with artists can mitigate some of the inherent risks, fostering a positive and respectful modeling experience.

Engaging in nude modeling also involves understanding and adhering to legal frameworks designed to protect both models and artists. Consent is paramount; models must be fully informed about the nature of the work, the intended use of their images, and their rights regarding the portrayal and distribution of their likeness.

Age restrictions are another critical aspect. Laws vary by jurisdiction, but generally, individuals must be of a certain age to participate in nude modeling, ensuring that consent is legally valid and that minors are adequately protected. These legal safeguards are essential in promoting ethical practices within the art community.

Furthermore, contracts and agreements can provide clarity and security for models, outlining the scope of work, compensation, and the handling of images. Such measures help establish trust and professionalism, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings or exploitation.

Influential communities, such as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, offer valuable perspectives on the appropriateness of nude modeling. As previously mentioned, the Church advocates for modesty and respect for the body, which can influence individual decisions regarding participation in nude art.

Leaders within the Church often emphasize the importance of aligning one’s actions with personal values and spiritual beliefs. This guidance can help members navigate complex decisions, balancing their artistic aspirations with their commitment to modesty and dignity.

In addition to religious perspectives, other cultural and societal viewpoints contribute to the broader conversation about nude modeling. The interplay of these diverse opinions shapes the discourse, reflecting a multifaceted understanding of art, morality, and personal agency.

Gramps

Hey Gramps,

I have a friend who has had bad experiences with men and priesthood leaders in the past, which has made it hard for her to open up to bishops, and men in general. She has been doing better recently, but even the fact that Jesus and Heavenly Father are men has been hard for her in the past, and she has prayed to Heavenly Mother in those times. What advice do you have for women who are struggling to feel understood when so many leaders in the Church are men?

Stephen

Answer

Dear Stephen,

Because of His Atonement, Christ is able to heal all of our wounds, including those of your friend.  However, such healing takes time.  Since you are the one writing to me, I will direct my advice to you.  Be patient.  Be a good listener.  Suggest therapy if she is open to it.  Fast and pray for her, and then trust that the Lord can heal all wounds.  Often survivors of sexual assault have difficulty trusting men, if that is the case here, Sister Cheiko Okasaki gave a wonderful talk that includes advice for survivors, family, friends and leaders.  It’s called Healing from Sexual Abuse.

Gramps

Gramps,

I have committed a medium serious sin and am doing well in the repentance process but I’ve always had this dark feeling that I’ll never make it to heaven and that I’m not a real disciple of the Lord that takes control of my life. Received revelation that this was from the devil which made it a LOT more bearable but I still need help. I love this site.

Nikolas

Answer

Hello Nikolas,

It is great to hear that you have taken the necessary steps in the repentance process to address your actions against God’s laws. It is always commendable to see the atonement in action.

When dealing with sins (regardless of whether they be medium, small or big), it is critical to also acknowledge that the forces of evil will work hard to ensure shame interferes with our repentance process.

Whenever I read Lehi’s dream and come across the verses where it talks about “the mist of darkness” it always reminds me of this part about the repentance process.

Let’s review what exactly it says:

1 Nephi 8:22-23

22 And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree.

 

23 And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost.

So, anyone and everyone has the choice to follow the path which leads to the tree (Our Heavenly Father’s Mansion), but on the way, we encounter darkness and confusion as to where and what to do. Satan is subtle and astute and often interferes with our eternal progression. He uses shame as a great tool in his hands to deter us from achieving our goals. Let’s examine what shame does to the individual who is recognizing his sinful ways.

Psychology Today states:

“Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion typically associated with a negative evaluation of the self, withdrawal motivations, and feelings of distress, exposure, mistrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness.”

Now, Satan thrives in making us feel worthless and powerless. However, the atonement (through the power of repentance and forgiveness) is the only antidote.

President Ezra Taft Benson has stated that:

“I would not have anyone believe that there is no hope if there are some who have made such a grievous mistake, because repentance and forgiveness are also a part of the gospel. Thank God for that! But it must be real repentance. Such repentance is a deep, heartfelt sorrow for sin that produces a reformation of life. It is not just a confession of guilt.”

 

Some times we regard the all too lightly the principle of repentance, thinking that it only means confession, that it only means feeling sorry for ourselves. But it is more than that. It is a deep, burning, and heartfelt sorrow for sin that will drive us to our knees in humility and tears— a deep heartfelt sorrow for sin that produces a reformation of life.  That is the right test: a reformation of life. Only then may the God of Heaven in his mercy and his goodness see fit to forgive us. HE—not the priesthood on earth—is the judge. Priesthood holders can only carryout certain requirements. They can require certain things set forth in the revelations, but true forgiveness comes from above.”

 

(God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1988, p. 196.) (emphasis added)

So, I hope you can focus on the atonement and what it can do for your empowerment and self-esteem and allow it to bring you out of the “darkness” you feel.

Gramps

Gramps,

My growing up years were spent in an area that was not the best of environments.  Lots of gangs, drugs, violence and anything else you can think of.  This is what I grew up around.  My parents were once active LDS but have slid into some of the activities of the neighborhood.  I’m trying to better my life and have recently gone back to church.  How can God really see my potential after the way I was brought up?

Armando

Answer

Armando,

Cruz Soto’s conversion story as told by “Papa” Ostler.  Shared with permission from Cruz.

Gramps,

What can I say to my son who comes home crying after every scouting event? He is home schooled and every scout in his troop is rude to him. Yesterday he tripped while hiking and one of the older scouts called him a dirty name. He gets along fine one on one with the boys, but whenever they are in a group he is excluded. I have never been able to understand mean people. That is the main reason I home-school my children. I don’t want them exposed to it constantly at school. How do these boys feel when they pass the sacrament on Sunday after they have treated a fellow scout in such a way? Even the troop leader was rude to him. My son says all he wants is to be able to have friends. Do you think I should send him to school so he can end up being just like them in order for him to have friends? He’s ready to give up on the scouting program altogether. We had him signed up for a summer camp and he doesn’t even want to go anymore. He doesn’t want me to call his scout leader, or talk to any of the boys, or their parents. I don’t know what I should do.

Frustrated Mom

Answer

Dear Frustrated Mom,

Children can be cruel, and usually are. And as you well know, it becomes very difficult for those who are the objects of their cruelty. The question is, what can be done about it? Sometimes nothing works, but often appropriate changes can be made. One thing to recognize is that once a relationship as been established among a group of young people, that relationship becomes the fact, i.e., that’s the way it is and that’s the way it is expected to be. So it takes real effort to change that sort of a status quo.

However, several avenues may be approached. The first question to ask is why is that your son is the butt of all this cruelty rather than anyone else? That needs to be explored very earnestly and very carefully. If there are changes in behavior or attitude that your son could make that would have him seen by his peers in a different light, that could solve the problem. But such a change in an established attitude by a group is not easy to bring about, and will certainly take some time.

The second thing to consider is how your son might respond to cruel barbs. Most of such barbs are generally made because they elicit a desired response. If the mean kids are trying to make someone feel hurt, or feel degraded, and they perceive that they are having success by the response that they create, they will certainly continue the process. However, if the boy responds in an unexpected way, such that he shows no hurt, takes no offense, and treats those persons well who attempt to degrade him, they will perceive their efforts as a failure and will cease and desist.

Such responses require a bit of maturity on the part of the injured one, and a spirit of not taking offense and a spirit of forgiveness–not an easy thing to do. But this is exactly what the Savior has instructed us to do in such situations—Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him (Matt. 5:25). And the instruction given by Paul is also very pertinent—

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

 

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

 

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

 

Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

 

Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:17-21

Now, in spite of your son’s desire not to tell anyone how he feels, it is extremely important that you visit with your bishop and review in detail all of your concerns. If the scoutmaster needs to be involved, or if the parents of the other boys need to be aware of the situation, your bishop is the person who could do that, should he feel it appropriate. If you do consult with your bishop, you must be ready to comply with any advice or counsel that he would give you, and it will without question turn to your good.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

How can I overcome feelings of low self-esteem? Every so often I am plagued by these feelings and it is getting me down. I am an active member and try to act as the Saviour would. I read my scriptures and pray daily. It seems that whenever I receive a calling I go through the feeling that others would be better at it than I.  I end up seeing all the positive traits of others but all of my negative traits. I know I’m way too hard on myself and I want to change that, can you help ?

Maggie

Answer

Dear Maggie,

In the church, people often joke about how during the Women’s session of Conference the leaders say, “You’re doing great Sisters, keep up the good work.”  But in the Priesthood session they say, “C’mon Brethren you can do better.”  IF there is truth to that, I would say it is because you are not alone. Women are hard on themselves.  We live in a world where we can easily become blinded by “values” and “priorities” that really don’t matter in an eternal sense.   Women are bombarded daily with messages about their bodies, and about how to be a woman.  It’s no wonder women sometimes feel confused, bewildered and overwhelmed.

First I want you to know that the Lord loves you and values you.  I imagine if you could sit down and discuss this with Him, it would be a very tender moment.  I base this idea on his reaction to Mary after Lazarus died.  When He arrived, Mary said, “If thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.”  John 11:21.   Did she say that from a place of anger, pain, faith, confusion or all of the above?  We don’t know, but the Savior’s response is clear.  He did not chastise her.  He did not tell her, as He did Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail, that her suffering would be but a small moment (even though that was certainly true),  What did He do?  He wept with her.  That is such a beautiful story and I believe it is a message to you, Maggie, that the Lord genuinely cares about your pain and sadness.  He wants you to know of your great worth to Him.

Elder Russel M. Nelson gave a beautiful talk about women called: Woman–Of Infinite Worth.  I highly recommend the whole talk to you, but for now I will quote just a portion of it that I think directly applies to your question of how to have better self-esteem.

“Of course, there are times when a woman’s ability to endure is taxed to the limit . . . She could become discouraged, especially if comparing herself unrealistically to others or focusing on what she is to do instead of on what she is to be.

 

Her self-esteem cannot be based on physical features, possession or lack of a particular talent, or comparative quantities of anything. Her self-esteem is earned by individual righteousness and a close relationship with God. Her outward glow is generated by goodness within. And her patience is much more apparent than any imperfection. (See D&C 67:13.)

 

Sweet serenity is found in fervent prayer. Then, we forget ourselves and remember the reaching hands of the Savior, who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28.) As our burdens are shared with Him, they do become lighter.

 

Feelings of worth come when a woman follows the example of the Master. Her sense of infinite worth comes from her own Christlike yearning to reach out with love, as He does.”  (bold added)

This is the Lord’s message to you, Maggie, pray for the ability to accept it wholly.  When you do, then go and serve others.  Help them to feel His love through you.  That is the true path to self-esteem.

Gramps

Gramps,

There are many examples in the scriptures of men being witnesses and of seeing Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I’m not a knowledgeable person and I have a simple testimony, but I feel that women are second class citizens in this church. Are women allowed to be witnesses or see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ? We have to wear a veil in the temple, will it be the same once we depart this life? Will women ever be in the presence of God in the same way men are? Thanks.

K

Answer

Dear K,

Since Eve first partook of the fruit, Satan has been trying to convince the world that women are second class citizens.  Don’t believe him.  Women are not second class, in the church or anywhere else, this is just one of Satan’s ploys. I counsel you to study the lives of women in the scriptures, and then in church history.  You will see a wealth of examples that of the love that God has for women.  My suggestion would be to start with the New Testament, the Savior’s life in particular. Sometimes other people’s insights on the scriptures can help enlighten us in our search (though don’t stop there, seek the Spirit and your own understanding).  A great resource I would recommend to you is the blog, Women in the Scriptures written by Heather Farrell.  Women in the Scriptures

You also asked about the veil. This is something that is widely misunderstood both within and out of the church.  A veil is not to hide something that is second-class.  Heather Farrell, explains it this way: “The reason you veil something is because it is powerful and the veil is to protect those outside of it from the power beneath it.” To help you understand this, let’s consider some examples.

First, we are taught that there is a veil that separates us from our memories of living with our heavenly parents in the pre-existence. in the Ensign, Bruce C. Hafen said, “Not only does the veil keep us from remembering our past, which we call the preexistence, but also it keeps us from seeing many things that are going on at the present—for God, his angels, and their activities are hidden from our sight.” The Value of the Veil

Here we see that God, his angels and their activities are veiled.  They are hidden from us because we are not prepared for them.  This is just one of many examples we can find about the use of veils to protect something sacred and powerful. Let’s consider a few more.  Heather Ferrell wrote a post on her blog about veils, she said in part:

“. . . in Exodus 34:33-34 we read how when Moses came down from the mount, after speaking face to face with God, his face shone so brightly that the children of Israel were afraid to be in his presence. He had to veil his face while he was talking to them because they couldn’t look upon him. Yet Moses didn’t veil when he talked to God, only when he spoke in front of the congregation. Verse 34 says,

“‘But when Moses went in before the Lord to speak with him, he took the veil off, until he came out. And he came out, and spake unto the children of Israel that which he was commanded.’

“2 Corinthians 3:13 also explains that one of the reasons Moses veiled his face in front of the children of Israel, but not before God, was because Israel was not yet ready for the power and knowledge that Moses possessed. But that when Israel ‘… shall turn to the Lord, the veil shall be taken away… But we all, with open faces beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.’ (2 Corinthians 3:16, 18)”  The Spiritual Symbolism of Veils – Women in the Scriptures

Notice that Moses was veiled not because he was second class, but because Israel was not ready for his power.

Another scripture reference is Exodus 26:33.  Here Moses is instructed to hang a veil around the Holy of Holies. Consider what this means.  That which was most precious and holy part of the temple was covered by a veil.

I hope that a new understanding of veils is forming in your mind now.  I’d like to share one more scripture:

And again, verily I say unto you that it is your privilege, and a promise I give unto you that have been ordained unto this ministry, that inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies and fears, and humble yourselves before me, for ye are not sufficiently humble, the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am—not with the carnal neither natural mind, but with the spiritual. (D&C 67:10)

Here it is the Lord who is veiled. When we are sufficiently prepared and humbled, His veil will be removed.  So you see K, it is Satan’s lie that women are second class and that veils are somehow demeaning.  I’ll close with these words from Heather Ferrell:

“It makes me sad that so many brides today are omitting (or refusing to wear) a veil, because is really an incredible symbol of female power and authority. It has just been so corrupted that the real meaning has been lost, and with it women’s understanding of who they really are and their innate power.”  Emphasis added.

Gramps

Gramps,

How can I know when I am worthy to and have sufficient faith to receive the Second Comforter?

Yearning

Answer

Dear Yearning,

Receiving the Second Comforter, or parting the veil and conversing with the Lord face to face, comes with an assurance of being sealed up unto eternal life. The requirements for hearing the words of eternal life (Moses 6:59) have been shared on a general level with specifics given to individuals according to their need and diligence in asking. In this way, the requirements are akin to the requirements to receiving eternal life. A young man went to Jesus with a similar request. “Good Master,” he inquired. “what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?” Jesus reminded him of the commandments given to all Israel. The young man replied, “All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?” The Lord then gave him specific instruction (Matthew 19:16-22).

These commandments, both general and individualized, are more than mere hoops to jump through. “I give unto you a new commandment,” the Lord uttered in our day, “that you may understand my will concerning you; Or, in other words, I give unto you directions how you may act before me, that it may turn to you for your salvation” (D&C 82:8-9). The commandments themselves are instructions on how to build sufficient faith to return to that God who gave us life. They are God’s “will concerning you”, with the intent to deliver you to your salvation.

It’s the story of the Little Red Hen all over again. “Who will help me plant the wheat?” asks the hen. “Not I,” answer each of the farm animals in turn. The hen continues with subsequent invitations, “Who will help me harvest the wheat? Who will help me thresh the wheat? Grind the wheat? Bake the dough?” They respond in a chorus, “Not I.” Pulling a fresh loaf from the oven, the hen asks, “Who will eat the bread with me?” and now their tune has changed. “I will,” the animals shout as they rush over. But the hen continues her consistency by insisting in their affirmation as she did in their denials, “I will do it myself.” In this story, the bread can only be eaten by a bread-maker. Returning back to your question, at which point was the hen worthy of the promised bread? As the laborer and bread-maker, she was worthy from the moment she planted the seed on through the time she pulled the bread out of the oven. At what point had she finally done enough that she could enjoy the fruit of her bread-making labor? When the bread was made!

So when is a person worthy to receive the Second Comforter? Well a person can be worthy for long stretches without receiving the Second Comforter. The principles of justification and sanctification come into play with each layer of grace, ensuring continued worthiness for those growing from grace to grace. When has a person exercised sufficient faith to receive the Second Comforter? When a person receives the Second Comforter.

Not to put too fine a point on it, the laws and blessings of the Celestial Kingdom are a tautology. In Sunday School, I’ve been encouraged to list out in two columns the blessings and requirements of the Celestial Kingdom. I’ve never completed the task because my list gets muddled. Inhabitants are washed and cleansed of their sins (D&C 76:52), qualifying for this by being baptized after the manner of Christ’s burial (51) (isn’t that washing what baptism is?). They are priests and kings (56) because they have received and honored the Melchizedek Priesthood (57). They, who have overcome by faith (53), shall overcome all things (60).

The commandments you obey are the instructions the Lord gives for your salvation. Specific commandments can be given to you if you ask in your prayers “what lack I yet?” As you progress, you will feel the Lord’s approbation in answer to your prayers. Let that approval stave off any discouragement at the growth required for holiness, for “he that is idle shall not eat the bread … of the laborer” (D&C 42:42).

You’ll get there when you get there.

Gramps

Gramps,

This may seem silly, but I was an active 67-year-old man. Seven months ago I got my left arm paralyzed and my life has changed. There is a big part of me that wishes to die so I can be made whole again.  What difference does it make if I live a few extra years.

John

Answer

Dear John,

I’m sorry to hear about your adversity.  I don’t think your question is silly at all. I can only guess that it is a very difficult adjustment you have had to make.

You are not alone in feeling frustrated and desiring for your trial to be over and death to come quickly.  Consider Job.  We often speak of his patience in trials, but he wasn’t always patient.  At one point, he became very discouraged, I think it is safe to say depressed, but I will let you read his words and decide for yourself.

20 Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul;

 

21 Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures; 

 

22 Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave?

Job 3:20-22

Is this how you are feeling?  If so, you are not alone.

You asked what difference can a few more years make.  Only the Lord can answer that for certain.  It would be a good idea to pray about that.  Before you can pray about that though, you may find that you need to have a “cleansing” prayer and talk to Heavenly Father about the pain, disappointment and anger that you are surely feeling right now.  It’s okay to talk to Him about these things, you can’t surprise Him.  He already knows what you are feeling and is waiting for you to come to Him.

Let’s go back to Job for a moment.  What I quoted above is from chapter 3, the whole chapter is much the same.  His pain and anguish is understandable.  By chapter 10, he is still not feeling any better.

1 My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
Job 10:1

Again, the entire chapter goes on in much this way.  Job seems to really be pouring his heart out to the Lord.  I think this is a good example for all of us.  As you know, things eventually improved for Job.

I would like to share a little about one of my heroes.  Admiral James Stockdale, if anyone has ever had a good reason to be discouraged, he did.  He was flying over Vietnam, during the war, and his plane was shot down.  During his landing and subsequent savage beating by the town people where he landed, one of his legs was severely broken.  As a prisoner of war, he not only did not receive medical care for his broken leg, but endured torture, and solitary confinement for about seven and half years!  James C. Collins interviewed him for the book, Good to Great.  Collins asked Admiral Stockdale how he was able to cope.

Stockdale said,

“I never lost faith in the end of the story.  I never doubter not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which in retrospect I would not trade.”

As the conversation continued, Stockdale added something very important.  He talked about the “optimists” who had died and when Collins inquired further Stockdale said,

“This is a very important lesson.  You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end–which you can never afford to lose–with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality whatever they might be.”

John, what you are feeling and experiencing is understandable and normal.  You are grieving.  That is natural when one experiences a huge loss as you have.  Please be patient with yourself.  Seven months probably feels like an eternity right now, but grieving takes time.  Take courage from Job and Admiral Stockdale.  Turn to the Lord, and tell Him all that is in your heart.  If you will do this, I promise you things will get better.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

Of what value is great physical beauty if the inside is what’s important?  Why did the Lord even create great physical beauty when He only looks upon and judges us according to the heart?  He must have had a reason or else He would not have created it.  And yet many are never blessed with it. We are constantly being told it is not relevant and de-emphasized by leaders within the church. Okay. So why even have it in the first place?

Robert

Answer

Robert,

There is opposition in all things. In order for us to understand things like righteousness, holiness, and beauty we have to experience the opposite; wickedness, evilness, and ugliness. So this world and the people in it are full of all kinds of opposites to give us the experience and to test how we respond to them.

On the subject of physical beauty, we have a natural tendency to be attracted to things or people that we find beautiful. And we tend to give beauty a higher or more preferred status then its merits might otherwise deserve. So in many ways physical beauty is very much a test. Are we going to be blinded by it? Or are we going to look past it and think the way God does?

Gramps

Rachael

__________________

Rachael,

The scripture you are speaking of is found at Doctrine and Covenants 122:7-9, which informs us that trials bring experience, and are for our own good. In addition we have other scriptures which a person who is struggling through trials may read: Romans 5:1-6, Jacob 2:8, Doctrine and Covenants 121:7.

If you are feeling your friend is “losing faith” please recognize she may be familiar with the verses you are about to share, and as such, they may not have the desired affect you hope. If your friend is “losing faith” then she is probably struggling with her feelings of “worth” before God. She may be wondering if God loves her, and if he loves her then he doesn’t “favor” her, why else would she be struggling or having these trials? Her heart may look upon others who are not struggling, who are not experiencing the same difficulties, and think they are favored and loved causing her to endure more discomfort and possibly confirming inner thoughts she may be having.

If you want to help your friend help her to understand God loves her, and that she is of worth to him. Pray and seek to know her heart and what will ultimately influence her to do good and continue faithful. Sometimes people do not need to hear a scripture, they only need to know they are loved by people who have a listening heart and mind.

Gramps

Gramps,

I just read your response to the mother about short skirts and modesty. Modesty is a matter of attitude. A girl can be dressed from neck to floor in a loose fitting gunny sack and still be immodest. The church is now airbrushing sleeves onto pictures of little girls in sleeveless dresses. Ridiculous! I realize an endowed member must wear sleeves, but a little girl? Or a teenager? What’s immodest about a bare shoulder, for heaven’s sake? Also, girls are told to be modest so they don’t turn the boys on. So why should girls be responsible for a boy’s behavior. Seems to me the boys should be taught to bridle those feelings.

Sharee

Answer

Sharee,

Thank you for taking the time to read my responses and to ask some additional questions while sharing your thoughts. I believe you mention a valid point, “Modesty is a matter of attitude.” Modesty, however also incorporates our manner of dress, speech, thoughts, and our personal conduct.

If we assume modest is solely a matter of attitude then I believe we are missing three other aspects of modesty: dress, speech, and our conduct. Let me explain, you mention a fully clothed woman in a gunny sack as still immodest, however, if a women or man has the correct attitude toward modesty but attends church fully nude — is s/he modest because they have the right attitude? You may say, “I didn’t say that,” and I would respond, “No, you didn’t,” however modesty solely presented as “an attitude” provides a segue way for other diluted interpretations of modesty.

Modesty begins while we are young and our age doesn’t define what is modest or immodest. Yes, young women, young girls, young men, young boys who are inappropriately dressed are still immodest. Truth doesn’t have any age limit. In fact, it is more important that as mothers and fathers that we teach this principle of modesty while our children are young.

I understand you may think the airbrushing attempts by the Church to be ridiculous; however, I, myself, would be more concerned with teaching my children and grandchildren what modesty is than being concerned with the Church’s airbrushing attempts. Why would the Church be airbrushing sleeves on pictures? I believe we find the answer and their willingness to follow through with their beliefs here, “Immodest clothing includes short shorts, tight pants, and other revealing attire. Young women should refrain from wearing off-the-shoulder, low-cut, or revealing clothes” (For the Strength of Youth: Dress and Appearance). Instead of governing what people wear when they take pictures they simply airbrush “modesty” into the pictures. I am truly unsure the problem here.

In our faith, both young men and young women are taught to bridle their passions, and they are taught virtue, chastity, and all that entails modesty; unfortunately, despite the Church’s and families best efforts some young men and young women do not heed the counsel. I, personally, am grateful for the efforts from our Church to teach modesty, and this is what I have taught my daughters and sons, and continue to teach grandsons and granddaughters. I want my daughters to know who that they are all children of our Father in heaven. Modesty entails our attitude and our manner of dress and conduct. When our dress, attitude, and conduct are not congruent then we are sending mixed messages. When my daughters’ dress and conduct are congruent then the correct message is being sent also. Modesty is also an outward expression of our love for God and our gratitude for the blessing of a body.

Our leaders have enlightened us with a principle of modesty, and allow us to govern ourselves. We, also believe, that the Lord has called these chosen servants to direct and guide us. These are the words they share from our loving Heavenly Father. I have come to knowledge myself that their words are correct, and modesty is more than our attitude alone.

Gramps