I’ve been excommunicated for awhile, maybe longer. I’d like to know how the system works for people that want to come back into the church again. My EX (convert) left the church, never wants to come back. I still want to be sealed to my kids and of course to be re-baptized. Am I, am I still sealed to my kids, and to my EX or not? I’m concerned about this and wonder about this a lot. I do know this will be a hard process for me. Is my patriarchal blessing “dead” and is my temple name “no good” too? Can I get home teachers to come to my house? How do I get support from members that have hurt me so bad (they still do)? How do I go to church for my own salvation and ignore the people mocking me at church. It is incredibly hard for me to move on “all by my self” WHOA!. I pray for help. The bishop isn’t supportive too which shocks me. Is there any help beyond asking/talking to the bishop? Anything I can do to win this “war”?

I know there are scriptures stating that prophets which have been mocked/threatened/killed worse than me and still stand stronger than me. How can I be like those men? I know that prophets of God are not WEAK. How can I stand strong like them in faith? Do not mention my name, email, state. Thank you

Secretive

Dear Secretive,

It’s interesting how we sometimes attach some hard and fast validity to the promised blessings of the Lord in spite of our own behavior. All the blessings in the temple, as well as all other blessings from the Lord, are conditional. They depend upon our faithfulness. The Lord promises us eternal blessings IF we keep the commandments. When we violate his commandments, and our sacred promises to keep them, they are no longer valid. Would you expect to receive indemnification on an insurance policy if you refused to pay the premiums? Although God is merciful, he is also just. Mercy works within the law of justice, not in opposition to it.

Now, concerning your coming back into the Church- This is not always an easy thing to do, but I think that the first prerequisite would be to have a forgiving spirit toward others, as you would like the Lord to forgive you. He has said,

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again (Matthew 7:1-2), and

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men (D&C 64:10).

The next thing to do in returning to the Church is to obey all the principles of the gospel. There is not one that you cannot obey as a non-member. The Church may not accept tithing contributions from you, but you can still pay your tithing. In doing so, you might open a bank account and faithfully deposit in it 10% of your gross income. When you are rebaptized, then the Church could accept your tithing. Don’t forget to include the interest that has been accrued, because that also belongs to the Lord.

It is important that you attend Church regularly. You will not be called upon to participate, nor should you partake of the sacrament. But during the sacrament time you may pray and reflect on the great atoning sacrifice of the Savior, as though you were a member, and perhaps with even more meaning as you realizing the He will take upon himself all your sins as you repent of them.

It is not normal that home teachers be assigned to visit you, as you are not a member. However, in an ideal Ward, the members would extend to you the hand of fellowship and do all they could to help you in your path to recovery. However, not all Wards are ideal, and you may have offended some of the members who may be struggling to forgive you. But it is well to remember that other people also have their problems and their limitations-all the more reason why we should suspend judgment. But because of the imperfections with which we all afflicted, Henry Drummond wrote,

“How many people are kept out of the kingdom of God by the unlovely characters of those that profess to be within!”

Be sure that you don’t let that happen to you. If we have a forgiving heart, we must not expect immediate recognition and acceptance of our forgiveness, nor should its rejection affect our forgiving attitude. Someone said that

“forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.”

It would be appropriate to seek an interview with your bishop and tell him of your plans and activities-that you want to come back into the Church when he feels that the time is right; then leave the matter in his hands. The Lord knows all your doings and the very thoughts of your heart. He will not leave you alone.

To help you stay close to the Lord it is important that you seek to have his Spirit with you always. Although you have been deprived of the gift of the Holy Ghost, you have not been denied the Spirit of Jesus Christ, nor his guidance. One essential element in inviting the Spirit into your life is to read and ponder the scriptures. You might make a plan, for instance, to get up an hour earlier every day, and spend that hour reading and studying the Book of Mormon. There is a particular and unique power in that book to bring people to Jesus Christ. It would be a great blessing in your life.

If you do these things you will “win the war.” But you cannot win the war without fighting the battle, and overcoming the foe of all righteousness.

Gramps

I have had sex before marriage, and broke the word of wisdom. I am scared to tell my bishop, because everyone in my ward is pressuring me to go on a mission. What is going to happen when I tell him? Thanks

Anon.

Dear Anon.

Well, you’ve broken the law of chastity. If you decide to go on a mission without confessing to your bishop-believe me, he will ask you about your moral purity-then you will add being a liar to being a fornicator. What kind of a missionary do you think that you would be with a load like that on your shoulders? If, in addition to all that, you went on a mission because of pressure from the members of your Ward, rather than from your desire to serve the Lord, it seem to me that you would make a farce of the whole thing. Missionary work can only be successful if the missionary is guided by the Holy Spirit. The first thing you must do is to become worthy to be guided by the Spirit. In order to qualify for that guidance you must have repented from all serious infractions of the laws of God. We read in D&C 58:43 that “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins–behold, he will confess them and forsake them.”

Confession is an essential part of repentance. Although the bishop is a judge, he is also a counselor and the Lord’s representative to you. There is not the slightest shadow of a doubt that the Lord wants you to put you life in order and to help prepare the earth for his coming by sharing the gospel as a missionary with as many of his children as possible. So I would suggest that you swallow a little of that pride that makes you want to appear before people as something that you are not, and RUN to your bishop, confessing all that you have done, and seek his help in preparing you to serve the Lord with honor and integrity.

Gramps

This is pretty serious. I did something terrible when I was 18 (and BEFORE I was a member of the church) and have never told ANYONE. I have repented, begged for forgiveness and have felt a lifting of that burden, but will be getting married in the temple soon and question as to whether this is still “on my head” because I did not “come clean” and have not spoken with the Bishop. Do I need to do this? Even though the sin was prior to my being a member and worse, while I was young and not very bright. The sin was abortion. I want to do the right thing, but have wiped this act totally from my mind until I was proposed to….I remembered it then. Please help.

Beth, from Georgia

Dear Beth,

I can appreciate your concern, which seems to stem from “a broken heart and a contrite spirit.”

And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost (3 Nephi 9:20).

When you were baptized, you were baptized for the remission of sins. You have felt “a lifting of that burden.” The purpose of confession is to work within us the contrition associated with and necessary for repentance, so that we may be forgiven-a precursor to baptism. If you did not go through the formality of a full revelation of your all your sins to the person who interviewed you for baptism, but, with a broken heart and contrite spirit, came to your baptism having repented from all the wrong that you had done, I’m sure that your baptism was not invalidated.

Having been baptized for the remission of sins, and having felt a lifting of the burden of sin, and as you live in accordance with the principles of the gospel, you must know that you have been forgiven. It doesn’t matter of the severity of the sin. The Lord said,

though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool (Isaiah 1:18).

Having repented and been baptized, if you believe that the Lord has forgiven you, you have the obligation to also forgive yourself. You mentioned that you had wiped this act totally from your mind. When the Lord said, “and I, the Lord, shall remember them [former sins] no more,” it doesn’t mean that he has a lack of memory, it means that they will not be brought up for consideration in your relationship with him. Since those things are no longer a part of your life, they don’t belong to you. You are a different person from the one who committed them. Why then should the Savior remember them? They are simply not you.

The experience of Alma when he repented is instructive as we consider repentant sin. Alma had confessed to being the vilest of sinners, (Mosiah 28:4). Before repenting he said that “I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins” (Alma 36:17). But after being forgiven by the Lord he remarked, “I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more” (Alma 36:19). It is important to note here that it was his pain that he could not remember. He could remember his past sins, but that memory brought no further feelings of guilt-he was not “harrowed up”-because of the faith that he had in the validity of the great atoning sacrifice and in the saving grace of the Savior.

And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy (Alma 36:20-21).

So perhaps, with Alma, you could have a feeling of rejoicing in the Lord and be “harrowed up” no more.

-Gramps

My question is on repentance. How does one go about it? My question arises because in a recent meeting of the stake priesthood (I attend a University student stake) the president advised those who had committed any form of fornicative sin to see his bishop. Also I am taking a celestial marriage course in institute and in the last lesson the teacher mentioned that many people have marriage problems and it comes out that when interviewing with the bishop they were not truthful about the intimate relations within their relationship. Could these people have realized the problems on their own and gone before the Lord in prayer and confessed there sins and be repentant?

Malik, from Utah

Dear Malik,

Regardless of feelings of remorse, there are certain sins of sufficient gravity that they must be confessed to the bishop. Sexual sin is among these. Repentance is not an easy process, and in the case of serious violations of God’s commandments, often needs the counsel and guidance of the servant of the Lord who represents the Lord to the members of his Ward.

It’s true, and indeed necessary, that people who have sinned realize the problem on their own, confess their sins to the Lord and appeal to him for his forgiveness. But this is not repentance; it is only the beginning step. The process of repentance is not complicated, but, again, it is not easy. The Lord has said,

Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins–behold, he will confess them and forsake them (D&C 58:42-43).

You have addressed the confessing part. Let’s discuss the forsaking part. To forsake a sin does not mean just to not do it anymore. The sin is in the character of the person, which gives expression to the physical act. An incarcerated bank robber may be sorry that he robbed a bank, and may not be robbing more banks because he does not have the opportunity, but he would not have repented of his crime until he became an honest person. The test of his honesty would be, for example, that after he was released from prison and again incorporated into society, he met with a bank president in his office in dire need of a loan. On the desk in the office would be a pile of money that the person had understood from the bank president had not yet been counted. At this moment the president is called out of the office and remarks to the applicant the he will be gone for fifteen minutes. If this former bank robber sits in the presence of all that money for fifteen minutes and make no move to take any of it, he has repented from being a bank robber.

Repentance requires change in the inner man-a change of character, not just a change of routine. True repentance results in the spiritual strength to control the passions and appetites of the body, even in times of severe temptation.

-Gramps

I know someone who want to do whats right.  He has been endowed
and has confessed to the bishop several times  about his
addiction to porn(Because he really would like to free from the chains
of satan).
Because he is a repeat offender and he needs confess to
the bishop again, he is scared.  He doesnt know if the bishop
will disfellowship him or worse.  He wants to be a good person.  He
cares for other people and he is really sorry, but cant quit on his
own.  Will he be disfellowshiped or worse?  What can you tell him to
give him courage to talk to his bishop again?
He is really ashammed of his weakness and that is another reason
he is afaid to talk to the bishop about it.
Please help.

Rene

Dear Rene,

Each day more and more people are becoming addicted to pornography.  Satan is using this temptation to get at even the strongest of members of the Church as well as those outside the Church.  This addiction is very difficult to overcome, even more difficult than smoking or drinking in some cases.  The addiction to pornography, if not overcome, often leads to more serious sexual sins.

Your friend needs help immediately and his greatest source of help would be his Priesthood Leader, the Bishop.   His obtaining this help is more important than being concerned with what action might be taken concerning his standing in the Church.  This habit, if not overcome, will lead to more serious sins that will affect his membership in the Church as well as his standing with the Lord.

Each of us need to realize that the Lord as well as His Church is willing to forgive us if we truly repent of our sins.  There is only one sin that we cannot be forgiven for and that is the sin against the Holy Ghost.  We read in Matthew 12:  “31 Wherefore I say unto you, all manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men:  but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.”  In order to receive forgiveness for our sins though we need to confess them and refrain from doing them anymore.

The important thing for your friend is to get help immediately and take care of this problem before it grows and becomes even more serious.  I know he will find his Bishop to be of great assistance in helping him through this problem and helping him with his quest for repentance.  In a talk to Young Adults, President Kimball gave us the following advice:  “The way of the transgressor is hard and tough and long and thorny.  But the Lord has promised that for all those sins, and errors outside of the named unpardonable sins, there is forgiveness.  But sometimes it takes longer to climb back up the steep hill than it did to skid down it.  And it is often much more difficult.  When a total self-conviction is stirred to a new life, and prayers have been multiplied, and fasting, through humility, intensified, and weeping has been sanctified, repentance then begins to grow and eventually forgiveness may come.  But to those who have broken the law…and who have complied as above, there is the promise of forgiveness; and the Lord charges the leaders of His Church that when they have totally repented, ‘Thou shalt forgive them.”

The Lord stated the following in D&C 58:  “42 Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.  43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.”

We hear wonderful things about the atonement.  But do we know what
it’s like should we have to pay for our own sins?

Sugar

Dear Sugar,

The greatest gift we have been given is the Atoning sacrifice which our Lord and Savior freely gave to everyone who comes to this earth.  In order to take advantage of His Atoning sacrifice we must repent of our sins and turn our lives to the Lord.  Though this gift is free and for everyone, not all have or will partake of this opportunity.  Men have created many stumbling blocks that prevent them from repenting of their sins and living their lives in harmony with the teachings of the Savior.  The greatest of these is pride.  Many will not humble themselves, repent of their evil ways and seek true forgiveness.  They do not acknowledge their dependence on the Lord, but feel they are fully capable of taking care of themselves.

One of the steps of repentance is for us to show remorse for the sins that we have committed.  There is great mental anguish knowing we have not kept our lives in accordance with the teachings of the Savior.  In some cases there  are also physical sufferings associated with our sins.   Violations of God’s health laws may cause us to suffer both body and soul.  Violations of the law of chastity brings both mental and physical suffering as well.

How much greater would these sufferings be if the Savior did not Atone for our sins?  The Lord revealed this to Joseph Smith in D&C 19, where He states:  “17 But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;  18 Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—.”  It is impossible for us to imagine the suffering and anguish He went through, nor what we would have to go through if we do not truly repent.

King Benjamin speaks of the suffering of those who do not repent and follow the teachings of the Savior.   This is recorded in Mosiah 3:  “24 And thus saith the Lord:  They(His words) shall stand as a bright testimony against this people, at the judgment day; whereof they shall be judged, every man according to his works, whether they be good, or whether they be evil.  25 And if they be evil they are consigned to an awful view of their own guilt and abominations, which doth cause them to shrink from the presence of the Lord into a state of misery and endless torment, from whence they can no more return; therefore they have drunk damnation to their own souls. 26 Therefore, they have drunk out of the cup of the wrath of God, which justice could no more deny unto them than it could deny that Adam should fall because of his partaking of the forbidden fruit; therefore, mercy could have claim on them no more forever. 27 And their torment is as a lake of fire and brimstone, whose flames are unquenchable, and whose smoke ascendeth up forever and ever.”

It is important that each of us repent of those things we have done that are in violation of God’s laws.  In this way we will not have to suffer as the Savior did nor suffer as those who do not repent and turn their lives to the Savior.

Gramps II

Dear David,

At the beginning of Moses, Chapter 6 were are given the genealogy of Enoch.  He was of the lineage of Adam through his son Seth.  Enoch was called of the Lord to preach repentance to the people.  Enoch questioned why he was called as he did not feel qualified.  As was the case with Moses, Enoch was slow of speech, he was young and probably felt that he was not adequate to preach to the people the word of God.  The Lord gives Enoch a great promise as recorded in Moses 6, saying:  “32 And the Lord said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee. Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good.”  Enoch was commanded to preach repentance to the people, which was not a popular thing to do, but he Lord promised him that he would be protected and Enoch would be given what needed to be said.

In preaching to the people Enoch tells them that the Lord told Adam it was well his children:  “know good from evil; wherefore they are agents unto themselves…”, but they must repent for no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God.  The Lord commands Adam to teach his children the following, which is recorded in Moses 6:  “59 That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory; 60 For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified;”  In other words verses 59-60 is what the Lord commands Adam to teach his children.  Adam’s children were in fact born of the water, blood and spirit.

Gramps II

When an endowed preisthood holder violates the law of
chastity before he is married, what church discipline is invoked and
what is it based upon (severity, length of time, etc)?

Kristi

Dear Kristi,

The duties of a Bishop was given by revelation to Joseph Smith and recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 107:  “68 …. for the office of a bishop is in administering all temporal things;  69 Nevertheless a bishop must be chosen from the High Priesthood, unless he is a literal descendant of Aaron; ….  72 And also to be a judge in Israel, to do the business of the church, to sit in judgment upon transgressors upon testimony as it shall be laid before him according to the laws, by the assistance of his counselors, whom he has chosen or will choose among the elders of the church.”  To be a “Common Judge in Israel” is one of the Bishop’s  greatest responsibilities.  He is to protect the Church and help the members of his congregation gain forgiveness of their sins.  He has been given the spirit of discernment to help him with this great responsibility.

Each of us need to confess all of our sins to the Lord, as only He can forgive us.  Commission of serious sins, especially those of a moral nature such as the one you speak of, also needs to be confessed to the Lord’s representative under whose ecclesiastical jurisdiction one lives.  In most cases this would be their Bishop.  It is the Bishop’s responsibility to determine what course of action needs to be taken to protect the Church and assist the individual in repenting of his sins and gaining forgiveness from the Lord.

If any discipline is needed, it would be primarily the Bishop who would determine what needed to be done.  He would consider many factors, including those that you mentioned, whether the individual freely confesses his sins or if he has to be confronted in order for him to confess.  Other factors would be how widespread knowledge of the sin is, the effect it has had on those involved, and whether the individual was serving in a leadership capacity in the Church when the sin was committed.  The promptings of the Spirit will be his greatest help in determining the course of action to be followed.

The following statement appears in the Church’s website concerning the discipline of those who have committed transgressions.  “Bishops and branch presidents and stake, mission, and district presidents have a responsibility to help members overcome transgression through repentance. The most serious transgressions, such as serious violations of civil law, spouse abuse, child abuse, adultery, fornication, rape, and incest, often require formal Church discipline. Formal Church discipline may include restriction of Church membership privileges or loss of Church membership.”

Gramps

A few years after I was baptized I started to be immoral
with my boyfriend. I talked to the bishop after the first time it
happened but I continued bad behavior with different boyfriends all
the while still being “active”
i didn’t think I needed to go to the Bishop because I found a scripture
and felt like it was between me and the Lord. I met a guy and we
wnated to get married. We didn’t break the law of chastity we got
married in the temple only 5 months after my last “immoral act”  I
went through the interviews before my endowments and sealing feeling
forgiven.
I was so happy and felt so full of the spirit after my experiences in
the temple! Months later I started feeling guilty again. I’m realizing
that maybe I didn’t do it all the right way.  I’m too scared to bring
it up to my husband because I don’t want to hurt him and I’m too
scared to go to the bishop. I do feel like I have a very strong
testimony though.

Amber

Dear Amber,

An important step in the process of repentance is to confess our sins.  In section 58 of the Doctrine & Covenants the Lord tell us:  43″By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.”  In many cases it is sufficient to only confess our sins to our Father in Heaven, but with serious transgressions it is necessary that we confess them to our Bishop or Branch President and/or Stake President or Mission President.  These men have the sacred calling of being a “judge in Israel.”  It is also their responsibility to  protect the innocent, and safeguard the purity, integrity, and good name of the Church.

President Kimball in his book “The Miracle of Forgiveness” stated:  “Serious transgressions, such as violations of the law of chastity, may jeopardize a person’s membership in the Church. Therefore, such sins need to be confessed to both the Lord and His priesthood representatives.”

Though it is sometimes difficult and embarrassing to confess our sins, the important thing is that we obtain forgiveness and become worthy of the blessings the Lord has promised us.  One of my favorite scriptures is found in D&C 130:  20 “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—  21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.”  Each of us need to be in obedience to God’s laws so that we can receive His blessings, including eternal life.

As you confide in and confess your sins to your Bishop, you will find him to be compassionate, loving and mindful of your fears and feelings.  Confessing your sins and fully repenting of them will bring peace to your being.  In D&C 42, the Lord has us told us:  25″But he that has committed adultery and repents with all his heart, and forsaketh it, and doeth it no more, thou shalt forgive.”  And in D&C 58: 42″Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”  Not only will the Lord remember them no more, so will your Bishop and more importantly you will be able to forget them and feel of the Lord’s great love for you.

It is through the atoning sacrifice of our Savior that we are able to repent of our sins and gain forgiveness.  May He bless you with the strength to follow each step in the process of repentance necessary to obtain the forgiveness you truly desire.

Gramps

I have a question I am marrying a lovley LDS women in a few
months and in a prievous marriage that she was in for 26 years she was
verbal and mentally abused he now is a branch president the other day
she called me and told me hoe he called her and said he blane her for
everything that went wrong with there kids so i called him and told to
talk to her with respect and not hang up on her or yell at her because
i would tolerate it he has no right to to her in a disrespecful way
while they were married told me he did alot of bad things to her
verbally he is now a branch president why does he get away with this

John

Dear John,

One of the great blessings in our lives is that we have the ability to repent of each of our sins.  Each of us no matter the sin, unless we commit the unpardonable sin, have the opportunity through the atonement of our Savior to repent and be forgiven.  One of the conditions to our receiving forgiveness is that we must forgive others who have trespassed against us.  In D&C 64 the Lord states:  9 “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.  10 I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

Sometimes it is very difficult to forgive and forget.  There are far too many brethren and sisters who have left activity in the Church because they have been hurt by something said or done by someone who is active and often their leader.  Who is being hurt the most, not the offender, but the one who is not willing to forgive and forget.  When I was quite young, a friend of mine who came from an inactive family was confronted by our Bishop, who lived across the street, over some melons that had been taken from his garden.  Even though my friend had admitted his guilt to me, he was very upset that the Bishop would confront him in this way.  He left and never returned to full activity in the Church.  He has married and had children and I don’t believe any of his children have become active in the Church.  I don’t think we will have a very valid excuse when we come before our Lord, to say I did not do what I should have because of what so and so did.

One of the steps in his repentance process should be for him to ask for her forgiveness.  I assume that he has not done this, but whether he has repented or not of the way he treated her, I would encourage you both to forgive him and try to forget the experience.  The more you dwell on it, the more difficult it will become for you to forget and get on with you life together.  Until he can treat her correctly, I would forbid him to communicate with her.  If necessary you can always obtain a restraining order.

If her former husband has followed the necessary steps of repentance for the way he treated her, then he is worthy to fulfill callings in the Church.  If he hasn’t then it will be up to the Lord to determine what course of action will be taken.

Gramps

Can you really answer a question? I have search the lds.org’s etc. no place to ask a question that I can locate. Question: Does God sorrow and weep when we commit a sin, mistake, or mean act?   thank you. I will see if you answer. And does He rejoice when we have a sweet thought, do a kind deed, or smile at someone?

Lenice

Dear Lenice,

One of the great truths that Joseph Smith gave to the world was that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ are real and two distinct beings.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints worships a God and a Jesus Christ with bodies, with parts, and with passions.  Yes, the Lord is sorrowful when we don’t do the things He has commanded us to and has great joy when we do.

There are many scriptural evidences that Jesus expressed various passions while on this earth as a mortal being and also as an immortal being.  One of the shortest, if not the shortest verses in the Bible is found in John 11 and is simply:   35 “Jesus wept.”  When Jesus returns to Jersualam for the final time, in Luke 19 we are told:   41″ And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it.”  Why did He weep over the city of Jerusalem?  He knew that His death was near, but that was not the reason.  He wept over Jersualem because the people would not accept Him and continued to persecute and ridicule Him.  Throughout his ministry Jesus continually showed compassion for those who were ill, deformed and those who were sinners.  He healed the sick, blessed the lame to walk, the blind to see and the deaf to hear.  He also showed compassion for the sinner and invited him to repent and follow Him.  Through these acts of compassion He showed His love for all of us.  In John 13, we are given a new commandment:  34″A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”

When Jesus visited the Nephites on the American continent as a resurrected being, one of the most moving passages of scripture is recorded in 3 Nephi 17 when Jesus had the little children brought to Him:  20 And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full.  21 And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.    22 And when he had done this he wept again.”

When Enoch lived on the earth there was much wickedness.  In Moses 7, he states that the righteous were caught up by the powers of Heaven and :  28 ” And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people(the sinners), and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it.”

Just as God wept over the sinners in Enoch’s day, He weeps when we don’t do as we should.  We are His children and just as we weep and are sad over some of the things our children do and have great joy when  they do that which they have been taught is right, the Lord feels the same way towards us.  In D&C 18 He tells us:   11 “For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.  12 And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.  13 And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!”

Gramps

Dear Harry,

It is too bad that people don’t realize how difficult habits are to break before they smoke that first cigarette or take that first drink.  It is only through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and hard work that one is able to break these habits.

In Matthew chapter 17 we read where the disciples were unable to cure a child.  Jesus chastised them for their lack of faith.  He then cast out the devil from the boy.  When the disciples asked Him why they were unable to cast out the devil, Jesus answered:  20″… Because of your ^aunbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have ^bfaith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this ^cmountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be ^dimpossible unto you.  21 Howbeit this ^akind goeth not out but by prayer and ^bfasting.”

Just as casting out the devil was difficult, so is breaking the habit of smoking.  The same principles given to the disciples by Jesus also apply to your friend. The type of faith Jesus is speaking of is one based on a strong testimony of Him and His Gospel.  Her faith along with much fasting and prayer is what will help her stop her habit.  The faith and support of her friends will also be of great help.  It would be well to have the local congregation hold a fast in support of her and her ability to break this habit.  This will also help her feel welcome and part of the congregation.

We need to remember that through the grace of the Lord we are able to accomplish all that we need to.  In the Bible Dictionary it states:  “It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.”

Gramps

What happens when someone wants to join to church who has
been excommuicated? I was excomnuicated about 25 years ago. I had gone
inactive. Wanted i guess to see if anyone cared if i went or not. A
letter was left for me saying i was excommunicated.

Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

Normally a person is not excommunicated for going inactive, in fact no action is taken unless the person who has gone inactive requests that his or her name be removed from the records of the Church.  If a disciplinary council was held, you should have been notified of it and any charges that might have been brought.  You should also have been given the opportunity to attend the council.

The great news is that you are more than welcome to return regardless of what has happened in the past.  The First Presidency of the Church stated:   “We are aware of some who are inactive, of others who have become critical and are prone to find fault, and of those who have been disfellowshipped or excommunicated because of serious transgressions.

“To all such we reach out in love. We are anxious to forgive. …

“We encourage Church members to forgive those who may have wronged them. To those who have ceased activity and to those who have become critical, we say, ‘Come back. Come back and feast at the table of the Lord, and taste again the sweet and satisfying fruits of fellowship with the Saints.’ ” (Church News, 22 Dec. 1985, p. 3.)

If you will visit with your local Bishop he will be able to determine the status of  your membership.  If you have in fact been excommunicated, as you indicate, he can outline the steps you need to take to be rebaptized.  If you have not been excommunicated, he will also be able to help you return to full activity.  The important thing is that you can “come back”.

Gramps

Lately I’ve been unsure about something regarding sin.

If you’ve committed a lets say sexual sin by viewing pornography and
eventually masturbating, is that a serious enough sin to have to speak
with your Bishop/Stake President? Or would it be okay to keep it
between you and the Lord?

I personally feel like it would do more harm to that situation than
good. Especially if its not a problem and just a one time slip up.

Thanks!

Spencer

Dear Spencer,

It would be very difficult for someone other than your Priesthood Leaders to help you determine when you need to confess your sins to your Priesthood Leader.  There are certain sins however, such as breaking the law of chastity, where it is necessary for us  to confess them to our Priesthood Leader.

I am confused though, as to why confessing your sins to your Bishop would “do more harm to the situation than good”.  Your Bishop is there to help each member of his congregation, he is the shepherd of his flock.  He has been called as a “Common Judge in Israel”.  You will find great strength coming from him as you confide in him.  One of the steps of repentance is to forsake your sins and do them no more.  This is a step where assistance  from your Bishop will play a tremendous role in forsaking your sins and committing them no more.

The two sins that you speak of are ones that are very habit forming and very difficult to stop.  As pornography lead you to commit the sin of masturbation, pornography and masturbation often lead to more serious sexual sins.  Pornography is a growing problem that is effecting men and women of all ages.  President Hinckley spoke of this problem in the Priesthood session of October Conference 2004.  He stated:  “While the matter of which I speak was a problem then, it is a much more serious problem now. It grows increasingly worse. It is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful. I speak of pornography in all of its manifestations”.    He further counseled us:  “If there be any within the sound of my voice who are doing so, then may you plead with the Lord out of the depths of your soul that He will remove from you the addiction which enslaves you. And may you have the courage to seek the loving guidance of your bishop and, if necessary, the counsel of caring professionals”.

President Kimball told us that:  “Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of his church, regardless of what may have been said by others whose “norms” are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice. Anyone fettered by this weakness should abandon the habit before he goes on a mission or receives the holy priesthood or goes in the temple for his blessings.  Sometimes masturbation is the introduction to the more serious sins of exhibitionism and the gross sin of homosexuality”.

We find in the fist section of the Doctrine and Covenants the following charge from the Lord: 31 “For I the Lord cannot look upon ^asin with the least degree of allowance;  32 Nevertheless, he that ^arepents and does the ^bcommandments of the Lord shall be ^cforgiven“.  And in Isaiah 1 He states:  18 “Come now, and let us ^areason together, saith the Lord: though your ^bsins be as scarlet, they shall be as ^cwhite as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool”.

Gramps

If a Mel Priesthood holder ordains, blesses and confers
authority to people unworthily and then later in life this
unworthiness is confessed, do all the ordinances, etc. need to be
redone?

Brad

Dear Brad,

The only time where ordinances need to be redone is when records showing the performance of these ordinances have been lost.  The exception to this is when a person is excommunicated.  After going through the steps of repentance and when it is determined, by the appropriate Priesthood Council, that he is worthy to return to full activity, he will be rebaptized.   If he continues in worthiness, he has the opportunity to have all of his blessings restored.  This blessing, performed by a General Authority, restores all of his previous blessings, including his baptism and Temple ordinances.  Upon having his blessings restored, the original dates will be given for his baptism and other ordinances.

The presiding authority, who holds the necessary keys for the performance of an ordinance, is the one who determines if the ordinance has been performed properly.  Once he has made that determination, the ordinance will be recorded.

One should not perform an ordinance or utilize his Priesthood authority unless he is worthy to do so.  We will answer to the Lord for our unworthiness, but the ordinance performed will still be valid.

The Lord has stated very clearly what happens to one holding and exercising the Priesthood who is unworthy to do so.  In  Doctrine and Covenants Section 121, the Lord states:  36″ That the ^arights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be ^bcontrolled nor handled only upon the ^cprinciples of righteousness.  37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to ^acover our ^bsins, or to gratify our ^cpride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or ^ddominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens ^ewithdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.”

Gramps

I have four adult children but only one that is living the gospel of Jesus Christ. They were all taught the gospel from their birth. I have been in great despair over this. I have been told that if I keep my temple covenants and strive to keep the commandments as best I can that my children will return to the “fold.” Is this true and how can that be? I have an Aunt that is very old and has not been in the church for 50 years and my grandparents were true blue to their temple covenants. They have passed on and have not been granted those blessings. I suffer great anguish over my disobedient children.

Judith, from Canada

Dear Judith,

Yours is not an uncommon lament. How many parents anguish over their disobedient children! Yet that anguish, although proper and justified for the circumstance of the moment, may become better by confidence in the blessings promised by the Lord in his holy temples. Where mercy does not apply, justice cannot be denied, and those who do wrong and remain unrepentant will pay the full price for their sins as if there had been no redemption wrought. But having paid the price, the promises made to faithful parents in the holy temples will be honored by a just God, who is our kind and loving Father.

Our task as parents is to never lose faith nor to be without hope. There is always the chance for repentance. And whether a person comes to the Lord early or late, even to the point of changing his life in the post-mortal spirit world, forgiveness and acceptance are yet available. The Lord said through Isaiah, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” Here is what the Prophet Joseph Smith and President Joseph Fielding Smith had to say on the subject:

“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared-and he never taught a more comforting doctrine-that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God” (Orson F. Whitney, Conference Report, April 1929, p. 110).

“Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation)

So it remains for us to be hopeful, faithful, prayerful, kind, loving and confident.

-Gramps

I’ve been inactive for many years and its now that im coming
back. Since then i have committed countless numbers of sins and some
of which i cant even remember. How will God judge me for the sins i
forgot i committed and how do i go about repenting for the many sins i
have?

Mrs. T

Dear Mrs. T,

Congratulations on your return to activity.  The most important thing is for you to visit with your Bishop, he is there to help you.  It is his calling to be a “common judge in Israel”.  As you strengthen your testimony, return to activity, the Lord’s spirit will help you remember all that you need to repent of.  The Bishop will help and when you confess to him of your past, it will help give you the strength to continue in the repentant process.

As we read of Christ, we need to realize that He is our Savior and Redeemer.  He is our advocate with the Father and He will do everything within His power to help us repent of our sins and return to the fold.  Too many leaders of other churches cast Him other than what He is, a loving, helpful and caring Savior.

I would encourage you to reread the Book of Mormon and take the counsel given in Moroni 10:  3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how ^amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ^bponder it in your ^chearts.  4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ^aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not ^btrue; and if ye shall ask with a ^csincere heart, with ^dreal intent, having ^efaith in Christ, he will ^fmanifest the ^gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.  5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may ^aknow the ^btruth of all things.

As we strengthen our testimony and attend Sacrament meeting, the spirit will bear witness to us of the truthfulness of the Gospel and the things we need to accomplish.

Gramps

Will

Dear Will,

The following comes from President Uchtdorf address at April 2008 Conference.

“Now, brethren, there are those who have neglected to make appropriate course corrections and now believe that they are too far from the Lord’s way to ever make it back. To them we proclaim the good news that is the gospel of redemption and salvation. No matter how terribly off course you are, no matter how far you have strayed, the way back is certain and clear. Come, learn of the Father; offer up a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Have faith, and believe in the cleansing power of the infinite Atonement of Jesus the Christ. If we confess and repent of our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.21 “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be [made] as white as snow.”22

It may not be an easy path, and it requires self-discipline and determination, but its end is glorious beyond description. You are not doomed to a tragic end. Many are eager to assist you—your family, bishops and stake presidents, your quorum leaders, and home teachers. Of course, your greatest friend is the all-powerful Creator of the universe. It is His priesthood you bear. He understands your sorrow. He knows your grief. He and our Father in Heaven will bless, comfort, and strengthen you; They will walk beside you and carry you as you strive to right your course.”

Satan would like us to believe that there is no hope for us when we have sinned, but the great message of the atonement is that we can be forgiven.  As stated we need to have a broken heart and contrite spirit, faith and believe in the cleansing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  With major sins, we need to confess them to our Bishop or other appropriate Priesthood Leader.  They will work with you and help you through the process of repentance.  When we have truly repented, the Lord will forgive us.  Sometimes we continue to remember them, but that will help us to keep from doing them again.

You need to be hard on yourself to the point that you have the strength to have a broken heart and contrite spirit, but not so much you are discouraged and do nothing about it.

Gramps

Message: Can you explain the difference between excommunication and
disfellowship. If a woman was seperated and just waiting for her
divorce papers to be signed by the judge, and had oral sex with
someone, is that grounds for excommunication of disfellowship?

Bob

Bob,

The following are excerpts from an article by Elder Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve concerning Church Discipline.

Members sometimes ask why Church disciplinary councils are held. The purpose is threefold: to save the soul of the transgressor, to protect the innocent, and to safeguard the Church’s purity, integrity, and good name.

Formal probation is a temporary state of discipline, imposed as a means to help the member fully repent. The presiding officer of the council specifies the conditions under which the probation can be terminated. During the probation, the bishop or stake president keeps in close contact to help the individual progress.

The third decision the council may take is to disfellowship the member. Disfellowshipment is usually temporary, though not necessarily brief. Disfellowshipped persons retain membership in the Church. They are encouraged to attend public Church meetings, but are not entitled to offer public prayers or to give talks. They may not hold a Church position, take the sacrament, vote in the sustaining of Church officers, hold a temple recommend, or exercise the priesthood. They may, however, pay tithes and offerings and continue to wear temple garments if endowed.

Excommunication is the most severe judgment a Church disciplinary council can take. Excommunicated persons are no longer members of the Church. Therefore, they are denied the privileges of Church membership, including the wearing of temple garments and the payment of tithes and offerings. They may attend public Church meetings, but, like disfellowshipped persons, their participation in such meetings is limited. Excommunicated persons are encouraged to repent and so live as to qualify for eventual baptism.

Great consideration is given regarding the confidentiality of the decisions of a Church disciplinary council. No announcement is ever made when a member is placed on formal probation. Decisions to disfellowship or excommunicate are generally not announced publicly unless the transgression is widely known.

The woman you referred to needs to visit with her Bishop.  Part of his calling is to be a “Common Judge in Israel”, see D&C 107: 72.  He is the one that would determine what course of action needs to be taken for her to complete her repentance process.  Whether the need for a disciplinary council is to be held or not is his decision, The council then determines what follows.

Gramps

Message: Dear Gramps,

I’m LDS since 1987, but have been most of the time inactive and not
lived up to the moral standards of the church. Is it possible to start
from the bginning and have a rebaptism ? Although I’m already a member
on paper I really feel the need to be rebaptised and have a fresh
start.

Regards,
Andre

Dear Andre,

The most important thing for you is too return to the Savior’s fold.

A talk given by Elder Ballard and printed in the Church News expresses the desire of the First Presidency, Quorum of the Twelve, as well as all members of the Church, is for all those who have gone inactive or astray for whatever reason to return.  He said, “To you who have not yet returned, who may still be struggling with the hurt and haven’t yet felt the healing: please allow yourself to feel the love that the Lord, his presiding authorities, and your friends in the Church feel for you. We are aware of your pain, and we pray for your healing and your return.

As the First Presidency has said, “We are confident that many have longed to return, but have felt awkward about doing so. We assure you that you will find open arms to receive you and willing hands to assist you. …

“We know there are many who carry heavy burdens of guilt and bitterness. To such we say, ‘Set them aside and give heed to the words of the Savior: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

‘“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

‘“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28–30.)’

“We plead with you. We pray for you. We invite and welcome you with love and appreciation.” (Church News, 22 Dec. 1985, p. 3.)

I would strongly encourage you to get down on your knees and let the Lord know of your desire to return to His fold, letting Him know how you feel.  Also sit down with your Bishop and tell him all that has happened.  Together you can determine what steps you need to take to repent and return into full fellowship.  Remember that all of us are praying for your return and to welcome you with open arms.  This is where you will find true happiness.

Currently there are only two times when a person is rebaptized.  One is when they have been excommunciated and have been found to be fully repentant and are worthy to return to full fellowship and the other time would be if their records have been lost.  Otherwise, there is no need to be rebaptized.  When we partake of the sacrament worthily, we renew our baptismal covenants.

Gramps