My husband would eat this website for Thanksgiving. He used to ask me questions like this all the time, being a convert and having spent more time inactive or anti than active. He loves to find things like your questions about fire newts, seer stones, prophecy, Abrahamic facsimilies etc. but he refuses to consider explanations by anyone part of the church. He is the same with therapists and doctors, as if one’s faith negates effectiveness of reality. Currently we have an amazing home teacher who absorbs his concerns and sees through his inconsistencies. What is it going to take to get through his thick skull?

K.D.

Answer

KD,

A quarter-inch drill, perhaps?

Few people investigate anti-Mormon claims the way you describe your husband as doing because they are seeking for a reason to believe. Typically, people act that way because they want to find a reason to disbelieve. They may be embarrassed about being a Mormon (you know, the whole green-Jello-peculiar-people bit). They may be confused about the doctrines. They may be put off at the service and sacrifice required of the Saints. They may be uncomfortable about what we are taught to do — and to avoid. Or maybe they just don’t want to be deceived, and so go looking for deceptions.

Whatever the reason, it is not possible for you to pound this through your husband’s “thick skull”. And it’s not your place to do so, either. I suggest you follow your home teacher’s lead and show your husband compassion, tolerance, understanding, and patience. Bear your testimony to him as appropriate, and don’t be put off by his anti-Mormon questions.

If you are deeply bothered by such things, you might simply tell him that you find such questions offensive, and to please not bring them up around you any more. But don’t fight or quarrel about such things. Be a rock and an anchor for him as he works out his own difficulties.

Gramps

Gramps,

I am not a Mormon but am just starting a relationship with a man that is LDS.  I have read some literature on the topic but could you please tell me if there is anything out of the norm (as per other religions) with regards to the Mormon faith?  If the relationship developed into marriage, would I be expected to convert?  I know as per your faith that once a man and woman are married, that as per your faith, they are united for eternity but how does that work if the man’s first wife passed away?

Tammy

Answer

Tammy,

Many of your questions about expectations are going to have to be answered by the man that you are starting a relationship with.  You will need to find out what his expectations are concerning the religious beliefs of the woman he is interested in.  I can not answer that, but I can give you more general answers from the view of the Church.

The Church of Jesus Christ welcomes all to its Sunday services.  Anyone can attend, in fact the only thing that is restricted to members only is going into the temples (We have both churches and temples) and even then most temples have visitor centers, and very beautiful and peaceful grounds that you could wander around.  Should you go the members might take that as an expression of interest on your part and invite you to learn more.  You can decline this invitation if you wish and still stay.

The Church teaches things like the Law of Chasity (no sex before marriage), Word of Wisdom (No alcohol, coffee, tea, tobacco, or illegal drugs), and Serving others.  All of which could very likely come up as you pursue a relationship with a LDS man (Greatly depending on the faithfulness and activity of the man in question).  You might consider some of those to be out of the norm.

Now to your questions about getting married.  The Church recognizes any marriage between a man and a woman that is legally and lawful entered into. There are members married to non members in the Church.  The Church would of course like them to all be members of course and so they will on occasion check to see if the non-member is interested.  But even those that are not interested are still welcome to come and join in the church activities.

That type of marriage is done until “Death do you part,”  which as is says means once you die the marriage is over.  The Church believes that these marriages can also be sealed by an ordinance in the temple.  This sealing gives the marriage the ability to last for “Time and all Eternity” if the people are faithful.   It is common in the Church for members to have both the legal and religious requirements done at the same time.  This can lead to members taking about temple marriages, or temple weddings as a short hand for legal marriage and sealing ordinance done together.  However they do not have to be done together a couple could wait years between them.

So how does this belief impact you?  Well the man you are interested in and might possibly marry, might very will be very interested in being with you for time and all eternity.  That can only happen if you are a member and the two of you get sealed in the temple.  Thus he could very well have that as an expectation for you. That expectation can manifest in many ways from him apply a great deal of pressure to you, to him being very patent and trusting in the Lord that you will come around when it is right for you.  Or any possibility in between.

As for the prior marriage that depends on if both marriages were sealed and if all three parties were faithful.  If that doesn’t happen then there is no promise given to the ones that did not and it resolves itself.  If both conditions are met then we have to acknowledge that mortally is messy, and that we see imperfectly.  A lot of people have theories and ideas but the bottom line is we need to have faith that God will sort it out in a way that is perfect for everyone.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

Do you have any advice for a man who has found a girl who meets all of his expectations spiritually, intellectually, temperamentally and personality wise, but finds her substantially displeasing in physical appearance? I know that we should try to do as the Lord does, and look upon the heart and not the outward appearance, but I am concerned that should we ever get married, this serious aversion to the physical may become intolerable, or perhaps even revolting, when the intimate dimension comes into play after marriage. Would the Lord condemn a man for rejecting an opportunity with a girl who is practically perfect in every other way, but seriously displeasing in her physical appearance? Your advice would be sincerely appreciated.

Earnest

Answer

Dear Earnest,

There once was a young man who had fallen deeply in love with a girl and decided to marry her. So he went to the jewelry store to pick out a diamond engagement ring. He wanted to get the very nicest ring that he could find. He found such a ring, but its cost was much more than he could afford. So he got a second job, saved all that he could, and finally borrowed a rather large sum from a friend to make the purchase. When he bought the diamond, he charged the clerk to put it in the very most beautiful case that he could find. This was done and he was now prepared to propose to the love of his life. So the big evening came, he made his prepared proposal speech, declared his undying love for the girl and gave her the precious diamond ring. The girl was absolutely thrilled. Looking at the box she couldn’t believe how lovely the ribbon was with which it was tied. She carefully removed the ribbon, folded and pressed it, and then drew her attention to the beautiful paper with which the box was wrapped. She could not get over how lovely it was and was careful to press it and fold it just right. Then she was able to turn her attention to box in which the ring was placed. The box was of a rare wood, with a captivating intricate design. She marveled at how beautiful and unique the box was. So she carefully opened the box and there was the lovely, expensive diamond ring. She glanced at it and said, Oh, a ring, and tossed it on the table but what a marvelous box! I can’t believe how beautiful it is! And this wrapping paper and the ribbon!! I’ve never seen anything so beautiful!!

Now, what do you think of such a girl, so captivated by the practically worthless wrapping that she threw away a precious diamond because of the trappings that took her eye.

Life has its ups and downs and values change over time. But I want to tell you that in the long run, character wins out over looks every time. I once knew a man by the name of Wells Bowen who had had cancer of the lip. He had undergone an operation to remove the cancer, but in so doing it was necessary to stitch together about half of his mouth. This drastically altered his appearance and affected his speech. The first time I saw him was in a Sacrament meeting where he was the speaker. I was at first somewhat repulsed by his appearance, but when he began to speak I never saw that disfiguration again! What a marvelous speaker, and what a noble man! We soon became fast friends.

So my belief is that if this girl is all that you say she is, you have been given a beautiful and very valuable diamond. I would suggest that you not discard it because of the wrappings that it comes in.

Gramps

Gramps,

Why does God tell us to love our neighbors as ourselves?

Loni

Answer

Loni,

When the Lord walked upon the earth he was asked, “Master, which is the great commandment in the law?” The individual asking the question, a student of law, hoped to tempt the Lord to answer incorrectly. But, instead, he was instructed. The first answer provided us with the knowledge that we should first love the Lord our God with all our heart, might, mind and strength. The second answer instructed us to love our neighbor as ourself. Why, then are we first instructed to love God, and then to love our neighbor as ourself?

Love is a powerful emotion within all of the sons and daughters of God. Love is an emotion that is a powerful motivator to perform good works. The Book of Mormon instructs us that if we have “faith, hope, and charity…[we] will always abound in good works.” (Source)

If we have faith, hope, and charity, why will we always abound in good works? Well, let us define love as provided in scripture, “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (Source)

These attributes are motivations that are found within the attribute of charity — the pure love of Christ. Imagine if all the world, all the sons and daughters of God, exercised these attributes daily, and sought them in their perfection? Would fraud exist today, if we all rejoiced in truth and not in iniquity? Would murder or war exist if people were not easily provoked, weren’t envious, and did to seek their own? If love motivated all our actions, and we thought continually about others more than ourselves, would theft even be a part of our lives? How much easier would it be to forgive our fellowmen, if we suffered long and were always kind? How would life be if we all were motivated by love/charity to “think no evil”? Joseph Smith once declared,

“Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch over them with tenderness. When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind” (History of the Church, 5:23–24).” (Source)

We further learn that charity is an attribute that Heavenly Father has “bestowed upon all who are true followers of His Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God.” The reason we are able to become the sons of God is due to the atonement of Jesus Christ, which stems not only from our Savior’s love but also from our Heavenly Father’s love, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

Truth allows us to recognize that hate destroys, while love saves. Our world would be very different if we all kept the first two great commandments rooted in the love of God and the love of our neighbor.

Gramps

Dear Gramps,

Ever sense I was young I have always felt that my mom loves my brother more than me. No matter what I did I would always get in trouble and my brother could get away with murder. Still till this day I have tried making our relationship stronger and it’s like she is not even willing to put a foot in the door. The world has always revolved around my brother. It’s his way or the highway. And whenever I try to be in any kind of conversation they tune me out. I actually feel quite alone when the whole family is together. The only person that understands and can see it is my boyfriend. What is the best way for me to handle this situation? I hope you will respond back!   Thank you!

Kelsie

Answer

Kelsie,

As earthly beings one of the greatest desires of our hearts is to feel loved and to be loved, especially by those who carry the title of “mother” and “father.” As their children we long for their embrace, their recognition, and their mutual approbation as we experience life’s trials, success, disappointments, etc… Oh the joy that swells in our hearts in relation to their acceptance of our lives; however, oh how our heart aches when we experience their indifference.

The best way for you to act, my personal thoughts, in light of Elder Bednar’s words, “we are agents to act and not objects to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26). Our moral agency, given by God, allows us to “act” instead of being acted upon. Right now, it appears, this circumstance is “acting upon” a value source — your mother. Her favoritism is providing you with a choice (the enticement of virtue in relation to its vice) that is bearing heavily upon your heart.

My recommendation, accept that their is favoritism and move on. Don’t think another moment about how she treats you, only think upon how you will treat her. I have a family member who defines abuse as, “someone who doesn’t agree with them.” This circumstance is difficult at times, knowing that if I share an opposing thought or opinion to his desired outcome… I am abusing him. In the beginning this hurt more than it does now, because he also is/was a value source. I still value his thoughts, however, I discovered for myself what is important is not how he treats me, but how I treat him. I have learned, it is better for me to “act” and not allow his actions to “act upon” me — action verses reaction.

Gramps

I have a boyfriend who is considering going on a mission soon. I am afraid a great deal about what is going to happen but the most bothersome thing about it is what if he changes? What’s the probability of him completely changing and falling for another woman when he comes back?

Thea

________________

Thea,

Yes, how difficult this must be for young people who experience strong feelings for a young man or young woman and then they go, or are preparing to go on a mission.

One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Timothy 1:7 which allows us to understand that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and power and a sound mind.

I would assume it really depends upon the change he goes through. He will have experiences that will change him spiritually. This is a good thing. I unfortunately could not tell you the probability of him falling in love with another woman when he returns. I also could not tell you the probability of you falling in love with another man before he returns home.

At my age, I have witnessed couples after one returns home from a mission getting engaged and then they were married in the temple. I have witnessed couples who begin dating, recognize they are great friends but not marriage partners. I have witnessed, the Dear Jane and Dear Johns from both male and female friends.

I would encourage you to live your life. Date other young man, choose to not worry, and continue to progress spiritually remembering that the Lord has not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Gramps

Haydee

______________

Hello Haydee,

There really isn’t an easy answer to your question, and the truthful answer may not comfort you. There is — no way — a person will be able to know if they can truly trust their spouse after their spouse commits adultery.

The reality of your situation is that you must either choose to trust him and then walk in faith, hope and charity, or you must choose to continually live in fear should he act upon his lusts again.

The only person who knows the intents of a person heart is the Lord. If you have decided to remain with him, then it will be more beneficial for you to extend your trust versus living in fear. Fear leads a person to check every phone call, every text message, and every letter received in the mail creating an uncomfortable anxiety within our hearts. Trust, on the other hand, allows us to progress forward without fear, and hoping that our spouse is truly repentant and sincere in his efforts. We will be less concerned about where he is, and more about building our relationship with him again.

I am sorry, I know this is truly difficult, the Lord bless you in your decision.

Gramps

I was very much in love with a non-member before I married my husband. This non-member was everything a Mormon man should be. My patriarchal blessing is unusually detailed about the person I should marry, even stating I would be in love with this man. I still believe this non-member was the person I was meant to marry. It also says that my future life with my Father in Heaven will hinge on my choice of marriage partner. Instead of marrying the non-member I married a member in the temple that I wasn’t in love with (and still not). The spirit told me that I wasn’t supposed to marry him. My husband is a good man and honors his priesthood but after 20 years of marriage I am still worried that I made the wrong choice and have now jeopardized my future life with my Father in Heaven. Just because my husband is a good man doesn’t mean that he was the right choice for me. Is my future life with my Father in Heaven in serious jeopardy here?

Anonymous

___________________

Anonymous,

A simple answer to your question would be “NO” your future life with our Heavenly Father is not in jeopardy. The only time our future life with our Heavenly Father is in jeopardy is if we commit a serious transgression and do not repent.

Have you ever wondered with regard to marrying a non-member that a non-member could have easily withdrawn you from the gospel, and if withdrawn from the gospel then your future life with Heavenly Father may have actually been in jeopardy?

I have a tendency to believe that it is very hard to learn to “love” your spouse if you are consistently living in the past. If the spirit told you not to marry him, and you made the choice to marry him, then honor the choice you made, and stop looking back, and continue to increase your love for your current spouse.

I remember wise counsel we have been given with marriage, “Choose whom you love, and love your choice.” If your husband is a good man, whether or not he was the right choice is long past gone. You have already made the choice, honor your choice, and continue faithful in the gospel. Love is a choice, not something that happens in a moment.

I am reminded of the scene from “Fiddler on the roof” where the husband asks, “Do you love me…” :

(Tevye) Golde, the first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared, but my father and my mother said we’d learn to love each other. And now I’m asking, Golde, Do you love me?

(Golda) I’m your wife

(Tevye) “I know…” But do you love me?

(Golda) Do I love him? For twenty-five years I’ve lived with him, fought him, starved with him. Twenty-five years my bed is his if that’s not love, what is?

(Tevye) Then you love me?

(Golda) I suppose I do

(Tevye) And I suppose I love you too

Our ability to love may begin with infatuation, a strong like, a recognition that the individual I am choosing to marry is a “good person”, however, it is not how it begins that matters necessarily, it is how it ends, and how it ends is your personal choice.

Sincerely,

Gramps

Luis

____________

Luis,

The purpose of the Church has been defined by revelation from its earliest days. It is to “invite all to ‘come unto Christ, and be perfected in him (Moroni 10:32; see also D&C 20:59)’” (Church Handbook of Instruction 2.2). In times past our leaders have broken this down into a threefold mission, but in recent years it has been updated.

“In fulfilling its purpose to help individuals and families qualify for exaltation, the Church focuses on divinely appointed responsibilities. These include helping members live the gospel of Jesus Christ, gathering Israel through missionary work, caring for the poor and needy, and enabling the salvation of the dead by building temples and performing vicarious ordinances.” (Ibid)

You can find references to these throughout all the standard works. You can start your study by looking up some of the scriptures mentioned in the Topical Guide: Gospel, Gathering of Israel, Missionary Work, Poor, Needy, and Salvation for the Dead.

-Gramps

I’m 17 years old and know who I’m going to marry. He’s 17 also and my boyfriend now. I love him with all my heart but people attack us saying that high school relationships never last. But I know he’s the one. I’ve prayed multiple times about it and every time it’s a strong yes. I don’t doubt that it will happen but how do we keep going when people don’t understand? It’s really hard having this knowledge and having to wait for about four years until we can marry. I feel like those four years will be idle. Of course I will finish high school and learn what I can in college but dating won’t be the same since I already know who I’m going to marry. It will also be hard when he’s on his mission which is two of the four years. Sometimes we question why we know because at times it makes it harder than normal. Do you have any advice or help for us to be patient? I wish that we lived back when getting married at my age would be totally appropriate. Thanks for listening.

Emily

____________

Emily,

What you are feeling may well be exactly what you both think it is. I will gladly assume so for my answer. There are several things I want to discuss, so I’ll try to be as clear as I can.

First of all, the surety you have that the two of you will marry needs to be discussed. Again, assuming that what you are feeling is the real thing and not just teenage years doing what they do (And I assure you I know what both of them feel like) I also have an idea of what you are feeling. The truth is only you and he will know for sure besides God himself, and it sounds like He’s given His answer. The first step is to be content with the knowledge, which leads me to my next point.

When I say be content with the knowledge, I mean that if you truly accept that God has told you it is right, there’s no need to keep asking him, though he may just keep on confirming it as he has been. What you need to do with this knowledge is something both of you must work on immediately. On to my next point.

You’ve both had the foresight to see potential difficulties ahead, and that’s a great thing. Don’t brush them off, but together decide now how you will handle them. One of the difficulties you must address is the very real chance that one or the other of you will take a liking to someone else at some point. I’m not saying you must act as though you’re engaged, but rather the opposite. The standards of the church must be maintained and that includes your behavior together. So, that means no solo dates, no alone time in private situations, and no hasty decisions towards the other without discussing it. Being together in public is fine. Group dates, and spending time with your families is best. You’re at a crucial age for both of you and the last thing either of you should want to do is to derail the future you see for yourselves. That means physically as well as spiritually.

Finally, I want to talk a little about personal revelation in general. Sometimes when God speaks truth to our hearts, it is something intended for us alone. When we receive witnesses from the Holy Ghost, it’s not always something we should immediately turn around and share with the world. Let me cite an example from Jesus’ ministry.

Matthew 17:1-8 tells of Jesus’ transfiguration on the mount with Peter James and John as witnesses to it. What I wanted to discuss with you happened after the vision was concluded, and is in verse 9;

9 And as they came down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, saying, Tell the vision to no man, until the Son of man be risen again from the dead.

Now, several times Jesus was known to say this to people whom he healed, but it wasn’t often he said the same thing to his apostles. The question is, why would he say it? To answer, Jesus said this for the same reason at all times. He wanted people to believe in him because of the witness of the Holy Ghost, not because of the wonders he performed, or was party to, as in the vision. We get this answer from one chapter earlier, Matthew 16:13-17, 20.

13 When Jesus came into the coasts of Cæsarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?

14 And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.

15 He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

16 And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

20 Then charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the Christ.

So, what does this mean to you? It means that there’s no need to share what you have received from Heavenly Father with those not involved. To be certain, your parents may have questions now and then, but for the most part this seems to be something you can keep in your heart, as Mary did when she was told she would give birth to the long-awaited Messiah. She didn’t run to tell the world, but she did go to her cousin for support.

I wish God’s blessings on you both and pray that you will always seek his guidance and know of his love for you.

Gramps

Alice

_____________

Alice,

You are asking a great question and I think that you’ll learn quite a bit about church history and in researching the answers in the scriptures.

First, let’s look at your reference to the Book of Mormon and the idea of ‘changing skin color’. Let’s look in your scriptures at 2 Nephi 5. I’m typing the Chapter Heading from my printed scriptures.

The Nephites separate themselves from the Lamanites, keep the law of Moses, and build a temple – Because of their unbelief, the Lamanites are cursed, receive a skin of blackness, and become a scourge unto the Nephites.

Let’s now look at what is on lds.org for 2 Nephi 5:

2 Nephi 5*

The Nephites separate themselves from the Lamanites, keep the law of Moses, and build a temple—Because of their unbelief, the Lamanites are cut off from the presence of the Lord, are cursed, and become a scourge unto the Nephites. About 588–559 B.C.

It is different! It has been updated. Why? Why would the online and new printed scriptures change the chapter headings? Chapter headings, footnotes, indexes and other study aids are just that – study aids. They are not part of the literal scriptures, but help us in our understanding of the scriptures.

But why would this be updated? Let’s look at verse 21.

21 And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.

Now, for this answer, you might not notice any hyperlinks to the topical guide or other footnotes, but the following words have footnotes: cursing, delightsome, enticing, skin & blackness.

The link for cursing is: “TG Cursing” which references many scriptures where those who are not following the Lord’s laws and commandments are ‘cut off from the presence of God’. That makes sense, right?

The link for skin is: 2 Nephi 30:6

6 And then shall they rejoice; for they shall know that it is a blessing unto them from the hand of God; and their scales of darkness shall begin to fall from their eyes; and many generations shall not pass away among them, save they shall be a pure and a delightsome people.

Scales of darkness? It is linked to TG Darkness, Spiritual; Spiritual Blindness. So, as we follow the Lord, our eyes are opened and we are no longer in spiritual darkness or blindness.

Now, just to completely finalize our discussion on the subject of skin color, let’s look at Alma 55:4-8

4 And now it came to pass that when Moroni had said these words, he caused that a search should be made among his men, that perhaps he might find a man who was a descendant of Laman among them.

5 And it came to pass that they found one, whose name was Laman; and he was one of the servants of the king who was murdered by Amalickiah.

6 Now Moroni caused that Laman and a small number of his men should go forth unto the guards who were over the Nephites.

7 Now the Nephites were guarded in the city of Gid; therefore Moroni appointed Laman and caused that a small number of men should go with him.

8 And when it was evening Laman went to the guards who were over the Nephites, and behold, they saw him coming and they hailed him; but he saith unto them: Fear not; behold, I am a Lamanite. Behold, we have escaped from the Nephites, and they sleep; and behold we have taken of their wine and brought with us.

Now, I don’t know about your congregation, but if a person of darker skin color was present, it wouldn’t take long to do a ‘search’. Nor would it be possible to pass that person off as a person who is ‘white’.

***

I did all this to help provide a scriptural background for the answer I’m going to provide for you. The reason that interracial marriages may have been discouraged was because of the practice of restricting the priesthood from those who were black.

If you are a parent, wouldn’t you want eternal blessings for your children? If so, then you would encourage them to marry someone that would take them to the temple. Before 1978, blacks couldn’t attend the temple. Because of the 1978 revelation, a flood of new information on the subject has been added and continues to be added to our new 1981 edition of the scriptures.

Now, that addresses interracial marriages. But there’s still one more verse to think about:

Alma 3:8

8 And this was done that their seed might be distinguished from the seed of their brethren, that thereby the Lord God might preserve his people, that they might not mix and believe in incorrect traditions which would prove their destruction.

The word ‘mix’ has a footnote. It references “TG Marriage, Interfaith; Separation”. You can imagine that if two people are married from different faiths, that there would be a difference in how their children will be raised.

While this is a long answer, I hope it helps!

Gramps

Lori

___________

Lori,

I have to shake my head at the whole “a piece of paper won’t make me love you more” argument. If that’s the case, then why object to it? If you’re already living as a married couple, what’s the harm in making it official?

Pardon me, but these are my personal thoughts. Let me say that I love my wife more now than I ever have in the past. I find it incredible that this is the case, but the fact brings me countless moments of joy and peace during difficult times.

A marriage, at the very least, is a commitment to be there for each other as long as both of you are living and breathing. In the LDS Church we believe that marriages can be for time and for all eternity, and not just for this life. I can tell you with certainty that marriage is an essential tool for couples if they are to endure the challenges of life together with the greatest success.

God absolutely cares if you get married. God instituted marriage for several important reasons beyond spousal stability and fidelity, though those are also very important. Along with these, the family environment is far stronger and stable for children to be raised in a home where both parents honor their marriage. I could go on, but instead I pray for your health to return to you. May the love of God carry you both through this difficult time, and follow the promptings of God through the Holy Ghost.

-Gramps